"Bloodsport, the animated series" was tucked under Spielberg's arm

Sunday morning I was up with the lark, at least I thought it was but it turned out to be an evil-looking crow that was half black and half white. I felt a sudden chill. I had never

All that was left was to think of a catchy band name. Crab Rangoon was bandied about, but ultimately discarded. Lenny suggested Feta-ed Fetid Fetus (he always had to get cheese

Captain Haberdash sailed the seven seas (well, technically, he only sailed six of them, but he just told people about the seventh, and he knew a guy who had seen it so really he

Then she farted.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, it was a dark and stormy night. A door slammed and a shot rang out! The maid screamed. A pirate ship appeared on the horizon.

The Hipster businessman founded a Holy Smokes Spirit Association to really cash in on all the

He seated the cabbages with respect and served them bowls of buckwheat groats and cups of fine black tea. Most people were inconsiderate savages, but he felt comfortable and hoped

He wanted to "Mercedes" his mother. So he designed a car that had her curves and personality, but she was a cantankerous squash-shaped octogenarian. The "Gertrude" sold poorly but

Its a true story but sounds more like something you see in the movies. This guy was lost as a kid. He gets adopted by foreigners and after 20 years with the help of Google Earth he

The saucer landed on the landing field. Gramps disembarked, full of stories of planets he had buzzed. Xerel's Dad teeked: "Be kind, you lazy traveler, you." Granny Hargrok smirkled

"Ain't never told this story before," Bobert whispered from his rocking chair. "You'll see why. Years ago, my wife Greta told me a secret 'fore she left me. She said, Bob, I'm

Dressing in the old lady's clothes was something he never thought he would do. But Just the thought of his blood soaked uniform made him think that the dress fitted him quite well.

Chicken pen buyin' a Monkey's cousin eggs at your local market ya should always goose's Gregory Peck ter clock if any 're cracked. Wahn day I forgot ter goose's Gregory Peck me egg

She had the eyes of Caligula & the mouth of M Monroe, according to Mitterand who was French & knew his horseflesh. On the day of the funeral, I boarded up my house & left on the

The car was entering the curve at well below the speed limit. Little did this matter as the driver was blindfolded. This was the ultimate test of clairvoyance. As the road turned,

The steak lay quietly in its styrofoam tray, tightly wrapped in plastic, tormented by nightmares. It could neither scream nor thrash nor even shudder at its horrific dreams. No one

The Lazy Suzanne trundled more heavily than usual. A flour bag, a cookie tin & a bag of english muffins rolled by, but then as it slowed a small shriveled human head came into view

She shouldn't have sent the letter. She didn't mean for anyone to read it, but that, too, is a lie. She knew that when she put the words "need" and "fear" on the page,...

He erotically caressed her nose. She sneezed violently, sighed, & cuddled into a ball beside him. Ah, life was just about perfect.