Stan lost it this time. He'd been tutoring this nimrod for weeks without a breakthrough and now he was done. Stan gestured wildly and cursed at his pupil. That's when Candy started

"You know what's cool? Tin foil. Super thin metal that you can tear off a piece and just wrap it around something? That shit is badass bro." He looked at me, winked, & did a header

OK - who here is Lady’s overprotective boyfriend & what did you do with her body?

After endless hours of trying, I finally got it right: I took off my glasses, spun around, my hair loosening from it's bun, &, in a flash of light. I, Gary Kowalski, became Wonder

I was so hungry that i started to eat

He hated elevators. Especially the ones that spoke. 'Thirteenth floor... Doors are open....Mind your step......Have a nice day...', all that unpersonal friendliness made him feel

The TV announced "Only 10 more shopping days until Christmas". Zeeno replied, "10 more days & the world ends. Let's see what's left on my list? Replace mannequins at Macy's with

The sun was shining; the birds were chirping. The coffee was brewing; the gun was loaded. I

The best thing about shelled peanuts is the mystery. Will it be a burnt one? Extra salty? Shriveled? Two regular ones? Or that pinnacle of legume evolution: the TRIPLE. Mmm God is

Ah baloney. Abalone. A ball on knee.

I was sitting outside in the park enjoying the nice sunny weather when all of a sudden

OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL AM I EATING?! This. was. everything. wrong. about. Thistown. Thistown angered many men. They couldn't seem to make sense of all of these random changes. One

And then POW! Out of nowhere, he got it right in the

I opened my eyes, dazed. My head pounded. A cop was looking at me, clearly annoyed. "Sir? License and registration. Now." I had no idea who or where I was. I opened the glove box

To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell. I didn't know this one I turned the key. I was just curious what I would find when I

Day 5 no nicotine and I haven't killed my husband. Yet. Boo-Yah!

"Sure, the world is full of crazy people. But what is to be done?" asked Lenin17. "Where's my golden limo?" implored Lenin14. "I know what I seek. Please direct me to the Zone,"

Once upon a time, there lived a girl born with a most curious disease. She was incapable of resisting sudden impulses that other people had no trouble ignoring.

She died a little every-time he looked at her after that. Filling herself up with guilt and self-hatred.

The sightseers couldn't miss the famous rock, just yards off shore. Cover in white all along it's back that rose 100 ft. Seagulls called it home. Crevices and seagrass surrounded