Once upon a time, there lived a girl born

Once upon a time, there lived a girl born with a most curious disease. She was incapable of resisting sudden impulses that other people had no trouble ignoring.

Once upon another time, I rode my pet dragon, Debbie, all the way up to my roof. I needed to fix a leak, and my ladder had broken, so she was especially helpful. That was, until

she met her dragon-boyfriend, Hank. Not long after, she started coming home with burn marks on her face, and sank into a deep depression of self-loathing.

Hank the dragon-boyfriend, unaware that her depression was due to his explosive halitosis, tried spicing up their sex life by putting an ad in the personals: 'knight 4 3some fun'

but all he got were calls from bi-curious nutritionists named "Len." So Hank the dragon-boyfriend

lived by the sea & frolicked in the disco mists of a Welsh town Hwnnhl-Lyugh. Hank my dragon-boyfriend had the pinkest scales & when in bed he'd tip his head & belt a mighty roar!

I loved him very much but apart from the physical passion we shared, our relationship was empty because we shared no emotional connection. I did like his scales, however,

His skin was scaly, true, but it was his musical scales I loved the most. He sang excerpts from La Boheme, which thrilled me, even though I didn't care two hoots about him.

Then he whipped out his ukulele and sang "May you never lay your head down without a hand to hold. May you never make your bed out in the cold." It was his Phrygian scale whic

h truly impressed her -- not just his witty songwriting skills, or even his wild ukelele-whipping abilities. He was by far the best ukelele player, and he had a lot of pluck.