I'm a professional extremist. I'm hired by the opposition to give bombastic, stupid exaggerations of the sensible party online to make the opposition's idiocy pale by comparison.

Through the window of discontent, she looked at the world. Bemused, a sad chuckle escaped her lips as she muttered the only words the made sense in the moment, "Brill Cream and

Outrage upon seeing the poor & most affluent living practically side-by-side in slums & luxury villas of Mumbai were tempered with the realization this was a microcosm of the world

He walked over with a pint and a pernod & ice and sat down opposite. He'd already put some water in the pernod. She was surprised to see that he was sober.

I finally found my purpose today. I would have never guessed it was

You were in your space station, surrounded by obedient cyborgs, when the end of this galaxy came on like a Pink Floyd song. The event horizon sparkled out at the edge and

I wanted nothing more than to tell Ramone the truth, but I just couldn't bear it. He looked so innocent in his bunny pajamas. How could I let him know that

You're getting sleepy....sleeeeepy....sleeeeeeeeepppppyyyy.... That's the last thing I remembered. I think I'm awake now. "Sure," the hypnotist whispered. "When I snap my fingers,

A wicked troll named Gladdy parked his minivan in a no go tow zone. He had a good excuse. He needed to clear his name so everyone would think better of him. When asked he said "

Danielle Haim is a babe.

The retired major from the Indian Army handed over an ornate box. "Take it from me, it's cursed!" he spluttered. I opened it and nestling in blue silk was a desiccated claw.

*Freeze frame* *record scratch* Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got into this situation. Well here's the deal: It all started one quiet summer morning, when I was

Why this car is a carbon monoxide emitter, why it's a gas guzzling! We'll get a supersized fuel tank & pump full of pure lead. Burnin up the gallons full throttle till the planets

Even in a winter garden, one can still wish everyone well against the sickness and the madness and the clutter of the world, and sometimes there are echoes back from the G, so

She missed the boy so very much. The ease of their conversations, his ever contagious laugh, and most of all the beautiful words, so miticulously chosen, that he spoke. He was her

There's a man running around in a giant hamster wheel in the Ukrainian entry to the Eurovision Song Contest. Symbolism? The woman from Moldova just ripped her big blond plait off.

across the ocean, a vast distance of thousands of miles, means nothing in space distance, but to two people who never see each other again, it is an endless space

There was no time to wait as the first raindrops started falling. He grabbed his coat and rushed to the door. Where should he start looking?

I was lying back in the punt on the Cam at Cambridge going past the backs of the colleges. I couldn't remember the name of the man punting away behind me - it'd come back to me I'm

There once was a man named Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. He was shot in the head on accident after attempting suicide with the same gun. He was resurrected and then he