Interbelt mining corporation read the insignia on the ship. Sargent Beck wasn't buying it. The airlock hatch opened & he greeted the Ship's laison who glanced at the DEA agents dog

An astronaut, a witch doctor and Suzanne Somers walked into a bar. "Ow" said Suzanne, as she had walked into a particularly pointy part of the bar. The astronaut held open the

No doctor it is not the infection I am worried about, its the vertigo and sporadic bouts of levitation.

In a rush to save the lust of your life, you

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Someplace, there is an island, where wild chickens run free. Every June, we take our boats to the island, and have a big poultry round-up. Chicken Boys riding Shetland ponies would

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The noise echoed in my ear, the sound of the rope hitting the bottom. It came an hour after I threw the one end down the cliff. All I needed to do was get down and save humanity.

"So, tell me about yourself," said my new psychiatrist. I just sat there & looked at him into uncomfortable silence. Then I reached into my bag & pulled out my Howdy Doody puppet.

She broke the kitchen chair over my head. "Look, if you don't want any coffee, all you have to do is say so," I complained, wiping the blood from my eyes. I was sick & tired of my

"Wow, what's THIS?" The taste tester's eyes lit up as he took another bite. Product developers at McDonald's knew they had a hit on their hands when they created the Tripe Burger.

The doorbell rang and I excused myself to answer at it. Standing there was the old man from the State Farm commercial, with his fishing rod with a dollar bill baiting the hook. "I

Ever since Jen had purchased the dancewriter™, her writer's block and extra pounds were a thing of the past. Today she'd tap danced an essay on Exercise Software for New Yorker

"Hello? Yes, hello this is Dingy Donk. Is this Gingerbread Guy?" Dingy was hopeful that this time it would be different, that his new college roommate liked smelling shoe too.

Patrick Pending usually kept his silence when this kind of thing came up, as this kind of thing often did in the course of time. But on this occasion, his pent-up pendant utterance

Your grandfather was injured in a freak elk hunting accident while reading 'literature' in the outhouse. Uncle Russes shot ricocheted off the elks antlers through the moon cutout

"So this fella" said Nock, "how will I recognise him?" Nick sighed "Because, Nock, he will be wearing a hat styled like a guitar amplifier".

She was very appreciative of my services and promised to cure me of my Coulrophobia. She told me that we needed to steal the emperor's first child

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Do you ever think of the very real possibility that not all of your friends will die of old age? Because I do. Every single day. Oi, why does being a reaper have to be so difficult