Running all across the floor, on the walls and even on to me and over my feet. The cockroaches were everywhere. They seemed to be more concentrated around a carpet. I poked on it

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Mother: (1) She didn't make fun of me when I said I wanted to fly. Instead, she tied her best tablecloth around my neck & told me to go ahead & jump!

I called the helpline. "What's the capital of ex-Upper Volta, aka Bukina Faso?" It was a trick question. The answer is Ougadougou, but pronounced Wagadugu. "Are you suicidal?" said

We had been going to the backroom at Ned's Polonaise Room since the 70s. We set up out card tables and shook hands all around. Old Joe brought out the tiddly-winks and we commenced

. He didn’t want even the small chance that you guys would end up together, so when he was choosing the variables, deciding if he should make the world some apocalypse shit hole, h

We're in a prison cell in Alcatraz. Squawkers won't tell where the motorcrash victim is. He stares at the patch of blue sky through the bars and sighs. In a garage in San Antonio

"So, tell me about yourself," said my new psychiatrist. I just sat there & looked at him into uncomfortable silence. Then I reached into my bag & pulled out my Howdy Doody puppet.

"So how was the zombie apocalypse?" My friend asked me. "There was gunfire everywhere, and the zombies were dropping like flies..." I replied, my eyes misting as I reminisced

It hit me. As a projectionist, I ruled supreme. I could swap a family film for a snuff film, or treat the audience to an erotic shadow puppet show. How best to flaunt my standing?

The opening was marked by an ashen hand. Climbing down the dank hole I encountered painted hands leading the way until in the deep I placed my hand on the imprint.of the great hand

I was walking home from the pub across the fields when I saw on the hill a bonfire with witches dancing. A very beautiful witch only wearing a cutty sark stopped to stare at me

So, to summarize, you say you want me to come up with a whole new advertising campaign for your proctology practice, right? OK, I think I can do that. I already have several ideas

I used to see people on the streets fingering their belly button. I tried it, but i got my finger stuck.

I once met Grumpy Cat. He was pleased to see me. So pleased that he

But the cookies had all fallen on the floor. Seth said nothing. Stacked back on the plate Sarah grabbed one. "MMMMmm...what the?" She pulled a three foot blonde hair out of her

Did you know, if you collect the Topps bubblegum packs of the Giants for their '79 season, the watermarks on the backs form a treasure map?

He also flushed the the dismembered parts of his victims down the toilet.

The white sun pierced my eyes. I fisted the dirt. My jungle was a key lime green. I could smell the blue of the sky and hear the water slapping the shore. Today I had to

"4dq6d whvd9" read the message. Timothy scratched his head. This was a wierd easter egg hunt and this clue most puzzling of all. He was missing four eggs for a baker's dozen

Her new OB-GYN was in a wood paneled office between The Menz Room and The Hamburger King. It seemed fitting that this would be the place she would begin really thinking about her