“Doesn’t help”, she said making a face. “Sorry”, I replied self consciously. “No…I mean, it doesn’t help because you smell like dog shit. No amount of gum or mints is going to

He dismissed his secretary for the night. She'd served him well and would not be consumed by the flames of hell before the morning. He cringed. He so wanted them to, but good help

The third bullet slammed into his chest, but there was no more pain. And in the moments left, he knew there was just one more thing he had to do. He could see

Following our tradition, we drank our way through the election results. Now, after midnight, we're drunk. There's a new world starting tomorrow, so so

Billy Mays woke up. He throat was dry. He couldn't lift his head. That's when he felt the piano wire around his throat, the Russians told him to lay still.

It was only when I woke up that I realised that not was all that it seemed. 2 mins and 17 secs had passed and for what?

I’ve always had an arrogant streak in my nature, so a humbling setback every now and then is probably good for my soul.

His loft was filled with "designer items": standing lamps that looked like street lights, a scratching post like a hydrant, recliners looking like economy airline seats. The worst

Cuando abrió su ultraportátil, la imagen seguía allí, mirándole inquisitivamente desde el fondo de su escritorio, igual que un huésped que no acaba de irse

Hi havia una vegada una granota i una vaca blava que vivien al mateix bloc de pisos, a la ciutat de Maithoimaginaries.

We floated through the clouds in the balloon. The Fuschia Fields were as beautiful as the guidebook said. The octopus was prattling on about the dry wind. I yelled over the wind,

"Damn this weather" Marcine said, peering out of the gap in her blinds. "Dark and stormy nights are so cliche. Guess we're not going to the movies tonight!" She turned to her guest

When you've just murdered 10 people, you'd think you'd feel at least a few pangs of guilt. But all I could think of was a nice, hot shower to wash the blood off.

The doctor was arrogant. "B'chugerroth? These are old wives' tales, Katelyn," he sniffed. "There's no demon here. Just old superstitions that die hard." But the wind told otherwise

After many rejections, in a cynical ploy, this time he sent poems from famous poets which he'd run back and forth between online english and russian translators a few times

Her skin-tight T shirt read: 'Hey! Check out my knockers! Aren't they tremendous!' OK, it didn't say *exactly* that, but that was the message I got loud and clear. I decided to

"What a life I had" exclaimed the old man sitting in his front porch. Unbeknown to the fact that his life was far from finished, as an invasion of Frenchmen was taking place a few

Kopi Luak or 'civet coffee! I'll just bet a bunch of natives were sitting around half drunk and one of them said I'll bet you we could get the whities to drink Civet shit and pay

I was at the bar again and I'd had a few. I thought I said/meant to say: Hey, I'm Paul. You're pretty. Would you care to join me for a drink this evening? But what I actually said

'Congratulations! You are the winner of a 7 night 5 star trip to the Bahamas!' said the pop-up on my screen. I thought I had installed that damn pop-up-blocker! I clicked on it and