Terrence was his name but he made everyone call him psyche because

I'm a centipede. A lonely centipede. In the last ten days I truly learned what the word sadness means. My therapist says it's a kind of depression, but I don't know. Actually

When Max was randomly dispatched by a reckless driver, it fell to Daisy to take up the mantle of the avatar of the Dog of Death. Yes, Death had a dog, and it was a labradoodle.

Be the first on your block to own your very own urine-powered ecobot! It vacuums, it it takes out the garbage it cooks! One good long piss in the morning & your ecobot's good to go

The teacher came in the room. He was new. The seventh graders sat quietly. He wrote his name on the board. He said, proudly, "My name is Mr. Sandercock."

At the graduation ceremony Miss Sahatharraingorgoatashuaniathinogorgoghogh awaited her name to be read out and wondered if her doctorate in biomechanical engineering would

Its a true story but sounds more like something you see in the movies. This guy was lost as a kid. He gets adopted by foreigners and after 20 years with the help of Google Earth he

Me and some friends were heading out that weekend to Camp Slaughter Lake to drink some brews and hopefully get laid. When we got there, though, we found that we'd been beaten to

When I turn on this desk lamp I feel like strangling my daughter's puppy. I want to see how slowly I can apply the pressure around its neck to get the most out of its struggling

"I call it the Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop Bong. See it looks like a rubber ducky. The intake is here. You can smoke in your bath." "Mr. Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop

He wrote his own vows,"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down." She giggled. Then the Ethics Police crashed through the stain-glass window and shot them both stone dead.

Jim got the licensing agreement for swiveling office chairs. Now that he had monopolized the industry, he was determined to make the lives of every office worker miserable.

It was a turnip. Big fat fettid gritty root vegetable. It sat on the Starbuck's counter, pointing it's weird wiry little root tip thingy at

He called the beer a "Bronson" and entered the hipster ranks along with

... ten paces, turn left at the swing-set and start digging. I cleared away the cedar chips and found a pink shoe-box that I had buried there in 1987...

... and amplifiers, iPods, cd players, and Blue-Ray players." The Radio-Shack lackey advised me. "I just want an AM/FM radio." "I'm sorry we don't carry those."

I woke up this morning filled with regret. "If only I hadn't

Everyone writes songs or poems about the eyes but the poor neglected nose receives no such attention. The nose is picked on and unappreciated for its beauty

I thought that Japan was attached to China, that Puerto Rico was a Mexican city and more ignorantly, that Scotland and Ireland were both the same island and didn't speak English.

The wind wipped up & mini marhshmellow sized hail pelted them cruely. Then the hail grew to golf ball size & they ran for shelter & for their lives. Vlad was knocked unconcious by