Once upon a time, there was a little Kanye West. This world was too small for him. In his world, he is king. Long live the king? What was I talking about again? Oh, right. He had a

Roger Ebert looked at the woman across the bar, Annette Fonicello. He raised his glass in a toast. She smiled. Then Margaret Thatcher arrived, "Am I interrupting?"

"Sophie, How could you?" screamed Milz. "How could you die on me my love???????"

"OK, say this three times as fast as you can: One smart fellow and he felt smart. Two smart fellow and they felt smart. Three smart fellows and they all felt smart."

Writer's block is a bitch.

When I lifted my beer the third time, I noticed that the foam had formed two lines of Sanskrit on the inside of the glass. I was no scholar myself, but my implant contacted

He wanted to retaliate but he wanted to do it with style, he torqued the

"It's story time", said Mrs. Carbuncle, and opened the large medical tome she always read from. All the Carbuncle children gathered around her.

Neo and Simba were both stuck in the TARDIS. Dr. Who was nowhere around. Simba eyed Neo, who looked a lot like dinner. Meanwhile, Neo was studying the controls on the TARDIS.

I can't wait to go to Six Flags today. I went last year but I didnt get to ride all the rides. This year the first thing im going to do is

My husband had a medical emergency that required hospitalization and 3 days in intensive care (and he was quite ill three days before that).

"I had a past life regression the other day, I went under hypnosis and saw myself die alone in a desert with an arrow to my chest. How cool is that!" Oh god, not again thought Jim

We flushed the remnants of the alien spacecraft down the toilette.

I hate it when I didn't realize the story I added something awesome to was about something perverse and I didn't even know it!

There was no way I could have known it would turn out like this. I'd met Geoff at a Hollywood club just 3 weeks ago and now I was staring down at

I try to explain & I know its complicated but I still have this feeling that is more serious than butterflies. My inside's are so sore. I'm finding it hard to let go because I'm st

Squawkers just ordered a T-shirt bragging about how he survived Sharknado. Well, I survived Snow Shark, it may of been an ancient snow beast, but it was a modern killing machine.

A businessman, milkman, and a mailman walk into a bar.

The elevator hit on me this morning. No kidding - right as I got in and started to press the button for the 32nd floor, it whispered in its soothing, Muzak voice, "I want to bear

Pounding and thrusting.Fucking hard.Senses numbed and heavy breathing sounds mixed with mumbled passionate words.Sex with Anita had always been this intense?He almost cared enough,