A cold feeling of shock gripped me as I stared at the splintered, shattered wood of my front door.

Pssst, hey. Yeah. Yeah, you. You wanna get loco? Try this: shave the inside of 2 bananas and dry it for 3 days. Then get some bufotoxin from a psychoactive toad's back warts and

The spider landed on the fat lump in the back of her neck. It sunk it's fangs into her flesh. The smell of porkchops wafted into the air and the spider

I followed the hot chick for two blocks and finally got up the nerve to ask her out when she entered a biker bar. I hesitated and then entered. Everyone turned to stare

She'd needed the movers, she'd paid them, now they were gone. Tess examined each site again, where the movers'd placed each item, adjusting as needed, examining the scant damage.

If there's one thing I hate it's midget amateur snowmobilers with a lisp and a hairlip. If there's two things I hate it's

"Hammer, let's try this again, hammer." said Bobby Skids into the phone. "Hammer, if I don't say hammer at the beginning and end of every sentence, I die hammer." We continued the

The wise old crow who perched for many years in the hollowed out tree overlooking the Parker farm and watched Hank Parker perform the ghastly deed. When Hank finished burying

It was midnight and I was fast asleep. I woke up suddenly. I could hear someone crying. I looked through my window and that's when I saw her, a young girl, maybe nineteen years old

His wife was visiting her mother again - the dishes piled up in the sink. He ordered pizza, watched tv & surfed 'til 4am, slept until noon, didn't shave. He reached a new low when

"I smell smoke," she yelped, alert eyes slashing across the expansive vista. Not a cloud stained the blueness. I glanced down at her long, yellowed fingers. "Yours?" I pointed at

Jamboni ran through the tunnels of his subterranean home as it began to crumble around him. As he broke out into the surface and left his dwelling forever behind, he realized what

Welcome patrons to test chamber 323! Today, you will be subjected to physical and physcological torture, as a test to see what the human mind and body can endure.

As I wandered through the aisles of the convenience store, I saw the girl I would marry 58 years later. Yes 58... Anyway the story begins like this....

I had thought Snow would be more beautiful, but her lips were garish in her middle age, and the black hair had streaks of silver, and while I was no Prince Charming anymore,

That god forsaked day had finally arrived, the day when I would be forced to sell my soul to

It's tough being the youngest of eight brothers who can swallow their fists.

She sighed heavily--again. It dropped onto his consciousness like a fly landing on a whale being air-vac'ed. That last fly-weight sigh snapped his strained sanity and his mind expl

At age 42 and starting a new career—I’m not-so-subtly being reminded that I’m not “entry level” age.

Don said, "Listen Phil, here's the pitch. We go around buy up all the crap at the goodwill and then open a store and call it BigLOTS and resell the crap there." Phil blinked and