One shift, Research Director Erasmos Domingi decided to check out the robotics. All was fine. So was science and toxins. But when he was in xenobiology, he saw

Billy Mays here with the new OxiClean detergent ball! Get on the ball! The OxiClean detergent ball!

Go fly a kite!

"I call it the Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop Bong. See it looks like a rubber ducky. The intake is here. You can smoke in your bath." "Mr. Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop

"Stick it where the sun don't shine!" Mel advised, adjusting his eyepatch and hitching up his kilt. I laughed derisively. "Broccoli won't grow in the shade, you sorry excuse for a

I'm sure I read somewhere that ancient Britons dressed as grey herons to scare the Romans. It didn't go well for them and since then heron or any bird fancy dress has not been incl

It is a guilty secret of modern psychology that more is understood about the motivation of thirsty rats & hungry pecking pigeons as they press levers than is known about how poets

Midst the impending chaos, I felt it was high time to make fudge brownies.

I wish there was a way to get rid of this curse. The mark that burns in my blood marks me as a Son of Adam - one of the accursed.

If I was an omnipotent entity, having an extensive command over time and space, the first thing I would do would be

"Self-examination is the mother of escapism." Jean-Paul took a long drag from his clove cigarillo and looked severely at Camille. In turn, she removed her heart-lensed sunglasses

The rusty tin flag hanging outside the mairie creaked in the sirocco wind. Dust from the Sahara got in her eyes as she walked down the track to see the mayor. He was the richest fa

With the razor wire, moats, guard dogs, and search lights, I would finally rule the Separatist Kingdom of my home. Now for the postage stamps...

I wondered as lonely as a cloud

Now that I had exhausted all 7.046692766 e+148 possibilities of keystroke combinations I had to get creative. I decided to give a monkey a rubber mallet, and this is what it wrote:

So, we started telling urban myths, & wow! this was a good 1. There once was this guy that sent his friend to the ER bc he was rough, like really rough & um, too big too. Huh?

"Teach me the ways of arcane magic," I begged her. The old lady ran off, chanting, "Chil', this is a smoking jacket, not a blesséd garment. If you wanna bug a real sorcerer, go to

For dinner tonight, I'll start with a single pea. It will be buttered and slipped into the center of a scallop, which will then replace the yolk in a hard-boiled egg. The egg will

Detective Manatee has finally returned. Away on sabbatical for a few months, he'd spent some nice time at a "spa" in Arizona, getting rid of a few demons. But duty called & he

I was eating breakfast when my roommate came up. He was holding a wild hedgehog in a most menacing and intimidating manner. "Did you eat my last ding dong." he growled.