His film career long in the shitter, Macaulay Culkin now spends his days forging horseshoe culkins, caulking video game level designs, and helping his dad's tile-caulking business.

Yesterday i spent a lot of time cutting out clippings from newspapers and magazines to make a collage for his birthday. I thought that would make him happy. But she decided to make

Eating only lentils for six years is actually pretty good for the guts, or so my doctor told me when I was finally released from observation. It was the protein sauce that had swol

Cow 35 & 36 faced one another & scooped dirt up on to their back with their hooves, snorted and banged their heads together locking horns. The crowd of farmers cheered

Nasa finally settled on the foop tube propulsion as a cost saving measure. Mr. Simpson had not passed the physicals until they looked at his cc gas/burito specs. The flight to mars

Shadows billowed across the patterned floor, concealing the dark figure who stood at the end of the hallway. Fear paralyzed me as I realized the sight of this figure had literally

"Elves? Are you serious?" Celeste looked across the meadow at the pointy eared humanoids. "I don't even like the taste of elves." Drak lower his bow, arrow knocked "Well, we have

I was sitting at the tip of the ifle tower and

Some one left a spider on my book bag, and then I...

It decesion time and my brain is turning into a big mush, with steam comming out of my ears so I,

By the time she could turn around i turn down the

Arianna stayed in one corner as she cried the whole afternoon. Her heart was crushed into a million pieces. He was gone and he would never come back.

It was a new day, with a new mission. My name is Agent P and I had to defeat the evil Dr. Doofensmerts and his new super evil evil machine. We got a tip that the machine

Of all the pies - apple, cherry, moon, even pigeon pie, there was but one pie that Bartleby longed for. It had ruined him for all other pastries. He would sit in math class, idly

She sat on the edge of her seat and couldn't believe what she was witnessing. Not ten feet from her was

Joe wondered why he was still sitting in the stands as the game entered the 16th inning. Maybe

I'm a playa at heart; 'cause playahs don't part, it's an art script'n rhymes with auditory arc.

"Another round of tequila shots," was the last thing I remembered. I tried to stitch the night together based on

An all-expenses-paid trip to the Guinness Brewery in Dublin? All he had to do was finish a 4-pack in under 4

Simon woke up one day at the sound of a bloody, mangled hand scratching at his window. Moans were echoed outside. He got