Today, I will glue a price tag on an 800 pound barbell, carry it to the supermarket, lay it down on the far end of a cash register's conveyer belt. People will notice something is

Here's a new twist for Apple Brown Betty: Take 5 good-sized Granny Smith apples, peel, then slice. Let them soak in lemon juice and brown sugar while you grind up a little

The cat left a deliberately placed turd, like a war declaration from the dark side, in the middle of the left side of the bed. The next day, another on the right side of the bed.

It was Joe's idea to eat Tim. I ain't never liked anything more than beef and chicken, so the thought of eatin' Tim turned summersaults in my stomach. Still, 6 days without food

when i was sleeping while i saw a ghost with blood stained in it"s mouth and was coming towards me with a hamburger with bloody worms and venom of snakes in the burger, i woke up..

Out of sight, out of mind.

The ochre yellow oozed off of the canvas in a distinct puddle on the museum floor. The night watchman didn't notice, and casually walked through it.

His hands were all over the place.

And for the 57th pick of the NFL Draft, the Saint Louis Rams pick

Stephen looked at his mother as she lay on her deathbed. Her final words escaped her mouth. "Stephen...what is love?"

This is a message saying that the government has NOT been taken over by mutant moth men from outer space. That will be all.

Well fine, there was the time I got completely bombed off of watermelon tequila at the company picnic. You got me. If you want to bring up the old stuff, that's fine. But you still

I couldn't actually believe it because it happened so quickly. My friends walked in the door, picked me up over their shoulders, and threw me in the back seat of their car.

Molotov's attempts to create the perfect strawberry daiquiri had so far proved to be disastrous. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go Slava" sighed taberneiro Stalin sadly,

The crooner was ruining the ambiance around my chicken tenders. "I never had a pa/ Just a picture of U.S. President William Howard Taft and ma," he sang. That would explain

Communication is an act of faith, and I lost all possibility of faith a long time ago.

"Unfortunately weak 3rd quarter sales mean we'll have to cut another 30 or so shifts." I laughed out loud, oblivious. Someone had just posted a zinger on FS.com. "Excuse me, Mr.

The gun slinger SlimWhitman roamed across the western Swiss Alps on his trusty steed. SlimWhitmans's trusty steed was called

It was Fustbusters best idea yet . He'd had countless great ideas he couldn't remember. His subcranial prospector would change that. He inserted the jerryrigged electric toothbrush

"I don't even slightly understood you," my sensai, Kai, mocked, as I collapsed to the training mat for the third time tonight. "Why do karate when your passion is ballet?"