She sat on the edge of her seat and couldn't believe what she was witnessing. Not ten feet from her was

Sipping tequila was her way of telling me that the night had only just begun. Walking over to her I spotted

It wasn't long after I took the dog for a walk that everything started happening really fast. When the police arrived I

I don't remember much after the third inning, except for the feel of

It was 2 AM and all that was open was a Fatburger, so I pulled in. Odd, no helicopters around, must be

By the time the parachute opened there wasn't time to prepare for the landing, all I could think was I wish I asked her

The doorbell rang and it was Frank. He was late as usual but I was too tired to comment.

As he clung desperately to the edge of the cliff, he wondered how he got there. It must have been when

Her breath, smokey with condensation, cut through the air like

It was a long, dusty drive to L.A., but after 4 years BillyBob could hardly wait any longer. He got in his truck and

I'm so lazy at work that I don't even bother to get up to pee. Instead, I

I just knew it! The one time I did not need any witnesses to my embarassing acts, she

Looking around all he saw were turkeys. Six-foot tall, wild turkeys. He'd been cornered. Now, all he could do was

Humpty was good in bed. Years of ridicule have clearly fueled his need to please.

So, I get out of the shower and I notice this rash. I'm not positive how i got it but I'm pretty sure it was from

I always get the best fortune cookie fortunes. This one told me that I would

Are you looking forward to moving to London? Is it cold in the winter or is it

I had been locked in the trunk for about an hour when I heard noises outside. I had no idea where I was. Finally the

I am always amazed that when I pick my nose in public I get that look. As if it is so foreign to people. Why don't they

It was just me and Budweiser on Green Street, waiting for the girls to show. Johnny Cash was singing about roses and