What's that? You dropped out? Your familiar was a loco barn owl with razor sharp talons who'd strafe your unprotected scalp. Yikes. How many stiches is that? 13? I don't blame you.

Legend tells that once, long ago, all five continents were one, but the mighty staff of a lost god shattered them in anger, leaving only shards broken on the face of

Undeterred, he set about his work. With such high standards, surely someone would realize the perfection of it all. All he needed was enough time and attention to detail.

He could see the stag's silhouette against the bright lights of Hurst Castle. They gave him permission to hunt there after his shift. He removed his Bowie knife and sprinted

He rocked hard on stage, live, and with a big mustache.

I looked fearfully at the small woods bordering his home and at the finger of dark water that jutted out of the overgrowth and barely touched

“You have a reputation as the kind of guy who’s not to be fucked with. Ice-cold under pressure”, Ben started, not getting to the point. “I didn’t come out here to be flattered”

"You're so totally into body-mod! Let me touch your neck bolts again!" and then the head fell off. "Oops."

The bridge isn't long enough to come round more than once a year and mostly in the summertime. Time here is like a honeycomb that glistens in the golden light just before dawn.

He seated the cabbages with respect and served them bowls of buckwheat groats and cups of fine black tea. Most people were inconsiderate savages, but he felt comfortable and hoped

"Shirley, you can't be serious" he told Shirley. "I am serious, but..." Shirley paused. "I got nothing." He laughed and kissed her full on the mouth. She grabbed the riding crop

She took out the melons. She lifted them to her mouth and nose. They were so ripe they were almost exploding with juice. She rubbed the melons hard to make sure that

"Damn! Those alien bastards are gonna pay for shooting up my ride!"

She was tired of seeing me in my drunk costume. She never did have any class. She never told me her name either.

It is decked out with an actual dual-deck cassette tape player – which was used for making mix tapes. Good times (analog style). And notice the

There is such a thing as being too honest! she inwardly screamed at her husband. He had simply said

She never gave me specifics and I didn’t ask but she’d left town the same night I did and didn’t cross my path until she wanted to seven years ago. I slid out of the way without

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing, broken your sevant I kneel. It seems what's left of my human side is slowly changing in me.

Once upon a time a guy bought a christmas tree at food lion and set it up in hell for satan and the demons to see. His brother bought tickets to Trans-Siberian Orchestra and while

My sister died. Reading the text that I sent her. The text I sent her in a fit that she wouldn't support me about Garret. I regret it every day.