I was making hay and raising kane! At that point I didn't know weather to shit or go blind, so

Mince a lb of Hershey's kisses, two sticks of butter, burnt sugar to taste, 1 bushel flowers dethorned, a kumquat, abalone, and thrush nest into an even paste. Apply liberally to

I am looking forward to the end of winter. :)

I realized why my father, even when drunk, only pounded on my bedroom door to wake me in the morning. I suddenly felt somehow responsible for my mother leaving. Reaching for my

"A laugh?" He thought, "I'll show them what's funny." The jester picked up his jingly hat, and approached the castle cook. "Cook, it's time to depose our king, and it's time for me

" Fishing? I thought you were a vegan." the boy grinned down at her. " You assume there will be fish. This is a MIND of course, never know what could be in here." her brows rose.

With her scissors she snipped the cartilage separating his nostrils. He woke up shrieking with a bloody face and

The letter he had been waiting for finally arrived. It lay in the mouth of the mailbox waiting to be retrieved. He stared at it, suddenly apprehensive. The letter stared back

soon king apple fell from the tree and demanded to be eaten but something happened during the fall that

Smoke my Gouda!

"Really? It can only take a 2 GB memory card? Sorry, dude, you got rooked," I said, shaking my head. "I don't think you're going to be able to retrieve those photos."

Effy was dressed in bay leaves again. He believed they warded off the mother moths of Englele Island; These moths flew through the devils skies; their wings cut the air like razor

It was 9am my heart was beating rapidly. My legs felt like a piece of jell-o. I need to go to the hospital. Relief is what I urned for in this moment, now I am a

Once upon a time in a far far away land, lived a beautiful princess. She was so pretty that her mother and father locked her away in a tower. She was not able to get out.

There was a time in my life when my feet were webbed.

The idea was so "fresh" so "out of the box" that the power point presentation exploded. A couple suits threw up. "You mean, just put less chips in the bag?" The CFO nodded

If there's one thing I can't stand about 'Cranky Dave', it's the way that as soon as you've finished eating, he always, and I mean ALWAYS

The halls of Dis were dark. The black lamps burnt dark blue darkening the gloom.

"Sure, I've heard of spontaneous combustion...but an entire 3rd grade class?" Detective James Manatee said, looking down as the dozens of pairs of child size sneakers and piles of

"What have you done?"she said looking at me like as if I were an alien."What?",I asked feeling hurt by her reaction."Why can't I just seat here and enjoy a