The Alien hovered to the front of the A.A. meeting and took his chip. 1 year off of the sauce. He'd crashlanded on earth, in Southwest town and now he was sober

"Boy, you always wanted two girls at once, didn't you?"

He took it personally. He felt personally touched by this coupon for 50% off the buffet at

The priest asked if anyone opposed the marriage, they should speak now or forever hold their peace. Then the priest himself cleared his throat and said, "actually, I oppose this

Hooded figures stood in a circle, their voices unified in ancient song. But for a ring of candles burning on the floor before a high altar, the room was black as night. Darkness ..

"No" means "No" and "Yes" means "No". Any questions? The law states that if you ask questions, you will be imprisoned. Also, failure to ask questions shows lack of participation!

"Frobonate your tuckets, my snockeled Jabadoons, its time to let your plungynogs dungle and leave your gingloid snuffus in the loognardy." I didn't see any tuckets I'd frobonate

But, that was before I stared into the frozen blackness. Distance, depth it has no meaning there. No what really has meaning is when the blackness stares back. That night, the eyes

Un día como hoy empezó todo. Un día nublado, gris, frío, una típica tarde limeña de abril. Meses, años, siglos había pasado y recordaba todo tan igual, como si acabara de suceder.

"Loose stool, you are so subtle, flying out of me like an Enterprise shuttle, space is cold it isn't cool, but even there you are loose stool." He put the microphone back in the st

In order to be a serial killer you can't want to really be one. All those losers who try to be a serial killer are by definition not real serial killers. They aren't worth discussi

Turns out my overbearing boss had IT install a keystroke recorder on my keyboard a while back. Something must have really triggered an alarm because at 4:20 this morning, a SWAT

IT'S TIME TO PLAY FAMILY FEUD!!!! Name something grandpa would do if grandma tells him she's pregnant.

Weedy flower gardens crept slowly into increasingly narrow strips of lawn. I was having a conversation with my friend.Suddenly, something started pulled my leg....................

2:25 pm, 10/21/12, the day the Earth was destroyed. For all our fears of alien invasions, asteroid impacts, and supervolcanoes, it was the lowly Sea Monkey that brought about the

If the pen is mightier than the sword why are we not sending a packet of biros to Afghanistan? Robert pondered in deep thought about how to win a war with pens. The literal

Bryan hissed and shook his now-burning right hand before sticking his fingers in his mouth. He glared for a moment at the offending door handle, trying to assess the best method

The heart they pulled out of the cooler, was from an Iraqi. A 20 year old who'd been wounded by a drone. The doctor took the heart and placed it in Dick Cheney's chest.

I placed my order at one of the finest restruants in France. I turned to my friend, impressed with my French skills. "What did you say?" He asked. Just then, police sirens wailed.

George Lucas had re released Star Wars for 870th time.