As a kid my mother gave me enemas. When I broke into the womens dorm and gave my first victim an enema the 'enema bandit' was born. The press and Zappa song made me famous.

"Whip it! Whip my Ted Nugent!" She'd called it her "Ted Nugent" ever since the carnival.

IN the land of

They had been living in IKEA for 6 mos. now. They ate .99 cent Swedish meatballs everyday and lounged in the model front rooms. When they got sick of a decor, they just walked to

Where is my mommy?

I’ve learned to embrace uncertainty. My path has changed and likely will continue to. The truth is I know almost nothing about almost everything. I suspect that’s the case for

Her crayons ground out a foreboding warning on the page. Her parents and principle called a meeting to decide how to get her to draw rainbows, but there were no rainbows in hell.

Once upon a time

Ralph was a rude crude dude! He didn't was his hands he just spit in his palm and rubbed his hands together. In a little while strings of filth would form and fall off his hands.

The Devil makes work of idle hands. Since I'd been unemployed for over a year, I figured it was just a matter of time before he showed up. He was wearing a $4000 silk suit

It was such a cold winter day and mom still made me go outside and

Cowboy TV is a cowboy, but he is also a television set! Everybody loves Cowboy TV!

'A jetsam enema' is an anagram for 'James Manatee'. Coincidentally, our detective sensed a terrorist paddleboat dumping excess nukes in Lake Baikal, and he was gonna flush 'em out.

Each anniversary, The Kraken would light a candle for Father Merin at St. Mary's By The Sea. It was Merin who had alerted The Kraken to the Invisible Ocean and its predators. But E

Whereupon the intruder turned to me and said

Tonight is an excellent night for murder. It's beautiful outside, crisp with the fall wind adding an edge to the world. And she will love it as I will-for her it will be

Sitting alone at home playing with my computer in the middle of the night...alone in my dark room..nothing creeps me out until..a slight knock on the door..'Who is THERE?'...

They sat at the feet of gurus and ate and drank. They hope to share with many more when they have done eating and drinking. They paid for it, yet they will share freely to some.

"Everyone sucks. The world sucks. Buying stupid crap sucks, after a while. The majority of the crayons in the box suck," then he stopped. His son was only four and looked upset

"Tell me again, this time in reverse chronological order, how you managed to walk backward through the entire maze. I want to know every step, back to taking off your clothes this