In conclusion, let me simply say, I never agreed to be ruled by these reptiles, regardless of their race, sex, party, or style of bullshit. Any resemblance between my prudential

She sensed that he was alone by the way he stirred his drink, and the huge sky blue vampire cape he'd worn. Nobody'd told him it was a costume party, because it wasn't. This was

Looking out over the canyon, Stan wondered how it had come to this. The last thing he remembered was jamming in the suppositories and then it was all a blur. He had a faint

The last thing he remembered was sitting shirtless, singing and playing guitar for the stranger who accompanied him back to his hotel room.

A splash of green, a thud, and I stopped the car to check for damage. What i seen was horrid. I somehow, someway, had just ran over Kermit the frog. Although he was a muppet

As I inched closer, I came to the slow realization that the bulldozer was headed my way. It wasn't just the thought of a painful death that struck me, it was the fact that FiFi was

That's the thing with Aardvarks... You never really know when they're going to

He seemed to be leering at her. Accusingly. In one hand he had a spotlight, the kind you plug into a car lighter. In the other, Alize. He was drunk of course. And she, well,

It started in mud, as many things do. A blubbering, steaming, stench escaped from there. And that's not all.

after a single day of working as a cook, Flippy the burger-flipping robot has stopped flipping. It wasn't the high pressure job, zero pay, or menial repetition that got to Flippy.

The retcon police had successfully retooled Jar Jar Binks into an ex-soldier of fortune, but now they faced greater challenge: Undoing Steven Moffat's time as Dr. Who showrunner.

It was crafted from some ceramic material that was really useful for flying until the pat downs and body scanners. Now he had to kill terrorists with a ball point pen if it came to

In that moment, the world fell silent. Completely and utterly silent. Like if you were in a library, deaf and dead all at the same time kind of silent. I couldn't turn away as he

I paused, not knowing what to say. When my Mother dropped the bomb on me about the divorce, I just left him there. I really hoped I'd never have to live that down. Sure, he was a

How does a band with two albums release a greatest hits album and how could this album contain the worst, never great, never hit remixes on this album. Milli Vanilli managed this

All that was left was to think of a catchy band name. Crab Rangoon was bandied about, but ultimately discarded. Lenny suggested Feta-ed Fetid Fetus (he always had to get cheese

I use oven cleaner and a brass-bristle brush on mine until all the blackened crust and rancid oily residue solids are removed. Then, I gently dab it dry with a ShamWow Shammie.

So there it was. Quivering. Hulking. Gyrating. Like it had a life of its own. It was sick. Diseased. Disgusting. It was

i impinged into your life again. a stimulus, maybe. a horror to escape or destroy. a pathos. I am my facticity phenomenally, in a soul that tends at one as it approaches immortali

I am a 65 years old retiree, people look askance at me when I say things like, I"I think Ill build a Mandolin from scratch then learn to play it. It only takes my time, not theirs