It was crafted from some ceramic material

It was crafted from some ceramic material that was really useful for flying until the pat downs and body scanners. Now he had to kill terrorists with a ball point pen if it came to

saving lives. That was the mission, but he just liked to kill people. That's when he started practicing breaking sporks to get a sharp edge, he'd love to slice a terrorists neck

clean through. My killing wave had slowed when the TSA took away the knives, but with a few months of research I was able to perfect a substitue. They call me the Sporkinator.

Sure, the sporks snap in half more often than not, but if my victims don't die of spork wounds, they die laughing, so one way or another I was back on track, building my reputation

As the only known serial killer to utilize Taco Bell cutlery in my murderous spree. This gave me no choice but to

switch to McDonalds cutlery which consisted of a spatula. Naturally it was more difficult to kill my victims with this implement, but this just challenged me the more

. I flipped my 1st victim over the Bay Bridge with ease. I spread a thin layer of Nutella over my 2nd kill and staked him to a fire ant hill. I gagged #3 with the spatula handle

I used to win the south by southwest burger cookoff. Victim #4 was cooked sous-vide, poached in his own rendered fat. I was now looking for a large quantity of liquid nitrogen,

which in hindsight was a bad idea, cuz I never found any. I should've spent more time focusing on my burger grilling, fat-poaching, and

barrel-rolling. Because really, how is a collection of 1980's Welsh Porno's going to help me reflect oncoming laser fire? It's not.