Captain Haberdash sailed the seven seas (well, technically, he only sailed six of them, but he just told people about the seventh, and he knew a guy who had seen it so really he

It was her wedding day.The church and the tables for the reception where both decorated with tulips in every variety available.It was winter,it cost a lot but her mother insisted

A ‘V’ of storks flew into Saint Petersburg Maternity Ward to steal babies again. Babies were Russia’s #1 export, so their economy was crumbling. Storks slew roubles, as well as

auditions... so many auditions...

AGAIN! as if your LIFE depended on it! HEAD, shoulders, KNEES and TOES! KNEES and TOES! AGAIN!

METAL GEAR SOLID 57. "I envision Snake as pure Soup," Hideo Kojima was saying. "Using his soup powers he infiltrates a super school bus on a field trip to the Neo-Tesla Emporium

All a zombie has to write on its shopping list is BRAINS, then underline it once or twice. But MY shopping list covers a whole used envelope, both sides. Problems!

In the boardroom - 15 farts in suits & me. The fund manager gives me a note - a small cock+balls. I draw a heart round it & push it back. Not laughing - max points to me! The Chair

Many, many things are funny with enough vodka. However, many things aren't that funny the next day. For example,

follow me anya and follow shay if you want

"Amanda Widdershins, you are free to go." Hah, she thought, on a white plastic chair with metal legs. What friends did she have in this city of concrete and asphalt and glass? Not

I think I found a small bit part of the green fairy.

Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon, the dastedly dog snickered, when the cow transfigured

COCONUT SLICE KISSED BRANDON.

Punxsutawney Phil finished his survey of the satellite images & entered the data into his weather forecasting program. Then he took the elevator of his underground penthouse to the

"You got a fast car. I want a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we make a deal?" the scruffy hobo rasped as he leaned against my Lamborghini. "YOLO," I replied. "Get in & hold on."

The electric monk pushed his way onto the platform. It was of vital importance to his mission that he made it aboard this train. Just as the doors began closing, he managed to stic

Some stories have all the luck. Some stories get all the breaks. Some stories have all the pain. Some stories do nothing but complain. Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo

There are multiple parallel universes that go out to infinity. Every action has an alternative action. In one, you take two sheets from the roll; in another, five. In another, you

At the time it seemed like a great idea. Walt''s bachelor party would be Where's Wally themed. We dressed him up in the trademark red striped shirt and cap and told him to hide in