"Frrrrrrrrrrrrt!" I sighed. Uncle Luther was at it again. Every year he'd sit there at our family holiday party and pretend that the house was creaking. And every year we'd pretend

I been foldin' since been foldin' since been foldin' since been foldin'. My daddy was a folder. My daddy's daddy was a folder too. Shoot, I been foldin' since before foldin' was

"Time is way out of joint," said The Doctor to Romadric as they examined the graffiti on Dustula V. "This shouldn't be here." But it was: BAD MANATEE tagged on the transmat dock.

And I was still,but I was under your spell, when I was told by Jesus all was well. So all must be well. Just give me time. Well you know your desires and mine. So wrap my flesh in

Sure people liked Andy, Opie and Goober. You have your big fans of Floyd the Barber. But I always had my heart stolen by that self-deprecating officer of the law, my Barney.

Ana was carrying 2 huge bags of groceries back to her flat near the Gare du Nord. A kerb-crawler was following her, door open: "Viens ici cherie" "You think I'm a tart with snacks?

Retired Inspector Lewis met his young friend at the Potato Bug Museum off Trafalgar Square. "I don't mean this snarkily, James, but should we call you Reverend Hathaway now?" James

A is for alligator. They are green, they like to live in Florida and sometimes they eat small dogs. If you rub their bellies, they get sleepy.

"We need to get off this damn planet -- these people are crazy!" Cappy Dammit might have lacked some joined-up thinking, but he was a Megador of the BBQ. One day in the Drift,

I tore into my stocking with gleeful abandon. Would there be cash, candy, trick new gadgets? Hmm, let's see: socks (meh), toothbrush (retch), nail file (pshh), fruit (gag), dishrag

Let's talk about something important. Head light flashing. Think of all the things that come to mind when someone flashes their headlights at you & I mean the real deal, not a euph

She was wearing blue cotton stockings. They stretched tight over her knees so I could see the skin beneath. When she crossed her legs, they made a slight scratching sound.

I sat in my room staring down at my hands, soaked in deep crimson blood. I looked up again and then thought to myself, "What have I done?"

"I'm afraid there's no room on your ship for the nature dome or yoga studio modules, Cap'n." The last of the crew's morale went up in smoke with that bombshell. Cap'n Ramírez vowed

"Why do you love me?" "Because you're beautiful." "Anything else?" "No."

He came over, gave her a full body massage and stretch, then brought her to full release. He brought her a sandwich and beer, took a shower, and left. She drank the beer, but took

Kharma is after me!

"So you took a nap while driving?" "Yes, it was a boring stretch of road so I put the car in autocruise & put on my Ostrich pillow." "The court notes defendent refers to exhibit A.

The sun shone brightly on the blue waves of the open sea. A young child with hair of fire stood attentively at its mouth, looking for someone. On the horizon, a ship was approach

The word for today is burrito. Burrito burrito burrito. Chili verde burrito. Bean and cheese burrito. Dorito machito burrito grande por favor. Carne asada burrito. Burrito? Si.