"Why do you love me?" "Because you're beautiful."

"Why do you love me?" "Because you're beautiful." "Anything else?" "No."

Angela sat back and sighed. Her boyfriend, concentrating on his video game, completely shrugged her off. Again. Sometimes she doubted if he really loved her for more than

his game. Her boyfriend became a bit frustrated, but continued to pay no attention to Angela. Angela, stood up, her temper growing higher. She made her way to the kitchen, looking

for a butterknife, her weapon of choice for testicle removal. Ah, here! Angela returned to the living room & buttered her unrepentant boyfriend's balls but good. Pausing only to

peel a few grapes, mash up some berries and crack a few walnuts, Angela then cut off her boyfriend's balls with a butterknife. Her ex-boyfriend dialed 9-1-1. "We've got a 319! 319!

" said the emergency operator. The emergency operator was a failed psychic and tried to guess the emergencies before the person actually said them. She hung up and picked up anothe

R call, this one from St. Petersburg. Madame Lubotsky spoke Russian and requested a translator. Her Uncle Jakov had just had a heart attack after learning he won the Lotto. Jakov

was the notorious Petrograd Lothario who'd taken advantage of so many of the women during the Seige of Stalingrad. He knew that winning the Lotto was his past catching up with him.

Now the Petrograd Lothario's photo would be in the papers and all those ladies he'd promised to marry would know where to find him. They would steal his Lotto winnings! They would

all want their cars back and demand that he pay his part of the cell phone bill. At least one of Petrograd Lothario's ladies would take him to the court of Judge Mathis, tearfully