"TMI" "Huh?" "TMI - 'too much information', like when your buddy says, 'Since my wife has me on this vegan diet my turds are green.' or . Get it?"

When he awoke from his coma, the room was empty, yet so full. How is this so?

Do not poke the tiger. The Frenchman paid no heed.

"Anna, take your sister upstairs." Mother says forcefully as she stares out the window with a dreadful look on her face."What's wrong?" I ask, but she replies with,

He pursed his lips in the dark and let out a silent whistle. It was the moment Tim had been waiting for. Angela removed her T-shirt and two luminiscent Areola shook free.

He was the Master Baster. Yes, king of the buttery birds, lord of the plump poultry. And no one, NO ONE would ever guess his secret.

and so it begins

The thick sent of sweat filled the Oval Office. President Trump slid his Cuban cigar into the tight hole of his ornate eagle cigar cutter.

I went to the store and bought a pop. when I got there it was cold.

Women screamed in terror and ran for their lives. Children cried everywhere. Men fought to protect their families from the armies of comic book nerds rampaging through the streets.

I believed Aiden when he claimed to be a dancer; dance has no entrance exam. He tapped my back lovingly. "A good dancer romps with purpose, maybe even grace, and charges $40/hour."

Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor.

One hot summer night, while I was sucking down chili dogs outside the Tastee Freeze, I noticed that the dude sitting on the hood of the car next to mine looked exactly like Elvis.

When I got to the ranch, I found the youngest four children were keeping it running. The absence of their mother & 2 eldest sisters & an army in the forest told it's own story.

Jo.It had to be her.Sitting in the dying light of my last candle,I'm thinking of her.Maybe she'll give me comfort when the darkness finally swallows me.Her last words to me.

I was checking my ETSY store every 32 seconds it seems. I had tons of awesome stuff for sale, I have no idea I wasnt getting any hits. Mannequin limbs? Who doesnt love that?

W... T... F....

The wall.

The bright moonlight illuminated the sky, the thick clouds floated leisurely by just above the silhouette of tall, majestic trees, and I was viewing it all from the front row seat

He pulled over to admire it, gleaming in the morning light. The smooth, pale stalk and atop: an inverted triangle. "Give way" it stated, cryptically. Wasting no to time, he snapped