'IDENTITTIES!' the box proclaimed, shamelessly. 'What's your BREAST GUESS?!!'. Quivering with excitement, Magdalena rushed over to the counter and purchased the game there and then

Thick Hatch splattered his acolytes with his ink brush. "To hell with mincing about on eggshells and stringing words like popcorn in a storm! Folks are fundamentally unpeaceful, so

I walked into the bar. Fud Leclerc's 'Drowned Men of the River Seine' was playing on the juke box and the lighting was low. He was waiting for me by the pool table holding 2 cues &

hi sweetie. i can send you some nude pictures of me. i'm hot 22 yr old girl. please drop a line at virusmalwaretrojanhorsedownload@hotmail.com

Being in the kitchen with David is my favorite thing to do. We laugh & sing, joke & drink wine while we're cooking. Things got out of hand one night though when we were making

Call me Fishmael.

Ah, but you see you clicked on the 'Terms of Service.' This gives us every right to do the following. Now, hold still....

"What *are* marriage vows even? Rules? Guidelines? More like suggestion box pipe dreams at best." Man, Craig sure knew how to talk me into justifying the dead hooker in my trunk.

wake up to a phone ringing, meets a baker, ran out of toilet paper, crashed a plane, goes crazy, walking in a thunderstorm, ate a cookie in a palace,

She stumbled over the wire. Her mind screeched with panic but on the outside all was quiet. Did this mean her team had succeeded in disabling the alarm? She continued

A man walks into a bar.

Hit seems dig days since I felt ya warm embrace. I ardently bang an' admire yous. to be wivvout ysz da pain greata dan certain death. ya beauty iz dig da

I dare you to add lines to this story. Go on, do it!

I always had this feeling that something was wrong. Every time I visited my grandparents' home, I noticed how peculiar it was that grandma never cooked. It was as if she

Dear User: We have completed an unauthorized computer scan of your hard drive(s) and past year's browser history. In addition to the usual pornography, online shopping, and gaming

Which seat can I take? It's Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend! Tomorrow is Saturday And Sunday comes afterwards, I don't want this

Do you ever read something you have written and wondered, "When did I write this?" and "Who is Susan?" and "What is the statute of limitations in this state?"

My left leg is larger than my right leg, and the left side of my face protrudes about half an inch further than the right side, which seems to sag a little. I'm an asymmetrical

The Mat hatter stared at the little mouse. 'March forth,' he thundered. 'No it isn't,' said Alice 'it's Jan 11th." "Who asked you to butt in?' said the mat hatter belligerently. I

Hartwig dried his hair with a towel but didn't comb, put on some holey jeans & platform shoes. He was still a short german with a big American car & a deathwish. He stomped on the