"Calories should be conserved, not wasted! Always take the elevator. Use a drive-in or have food delivered." Big Bob lowered the remote. Adi Johnson's late night infomercial

"What will my patient need today?" asked the nurse. "I'll have a quadruple bypass burger, a butter fat shake and an order of flatliner fries. Oh and bring a pack of unfiltered

It was a sunday morning, i was going for a stroll in the park,

As you can see, I'm still having a hard time finishing things...all because of my late father, Stephan, and his untimely passing. I've heard that the only way to overcome fears

The hairdresser stopped in mid-snip & gasped, staring at the back of my head. She gestured wildly to the stylist in the next booth. "Come here, QUICK! You gotta see this!" she said

What if I were to tell you that I'm going to pay you to do butterfly surveys on flowery flat areas in the spring. Surveys can't be done too early, too late, when it's too hot or

I looked over at my friend's PB&J with the crusts cut off. Then I looked down again at my quinoa and kale patty with spicy remoulade. Why

Does anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that school teachers are making students in detention participate in FoldingStory as a form of punishment? Students with behavioral

I couldn't concentrate at all after I noticed her there in the waiting room casually flipping through a Playboy. My car had been ready for 45 minutes but I thought I'd stick around

Let tell you a story that was told long ago by the settlers of this fair plain. Those hard tack pioneers who tamed the West and built the first strip mall. Cinnabuns as far as the

O Rose thou art sick, the invisible worm, that flies in the night, in the howling storm, has found out thy bed of crimson joy, and his dark secret love, does thy life destroy

Th bmb cld nly b dctv8td by sng n algrthm wtht vwls. Btmn nd Rbn cldnt spll, Stvn Hwkng ws bsy and Wlf Bltzr hd trvld 2 Kyrgyzstn. Th Prsdnt txtd hs gd frnd Brc Sprngstn fr hlp.

I rifled through the cardboard box, looking for my old toy gun. Headless barbies vaulted out of the box and something sticky met my fingers at the bottom. 'Hey, this feels like...'

Revolution was in the streets and the roads of the internet, but in a poor small bar, Ambrose Luxor took the stage and said: "The name of this band is Overmind Resistance." The 20

"Rub-a-dub-dub, Three men in a tub, and how do you think they got there?" Mr Porter scowled and blacked out "men in a tub".

Janet looked dreamily into Todd's eyes. "I'll tell you when I knew for sure. I knew you loved me when," she sighed, "you...you didn't say anything after I ate the last pop tart."

The doorbell rang and I excused myself to answer at it. Standing there was the old man from the State Farm commercial, with his fishing rod with a dollar bill baiting the hook. "I

My downward spiral of phlegmy misery continued.Another Doctor visit.When he prescribed homeopathic arsenic I cracked."Listen you stethoscope-swinging smock monkey,I need Antibiotic

"Welcome back to Pimp My Ride. Today, we're trickin' out the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. We're gonna take it from 'hot dog' to 'hot DAWG'." I watched in astonishment as the host

He rode into town on Monday (his horse). The actual weekday was a Thursday. Frank "the Bank Thief" O'Reily was an odd one. He wore one black boot and one brown, and he never forgot