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Standard Recipe: Set oven to Planck temperature.

  • Standard Recipe: Set oven to Planck temperature. Insert quantum fluctuation. Rapidly inflate to homogenous quark-gluon plasma. Destroy antimatter. Form protons & neutrons
  • allow to bake for seven minutes in a Cern Super Collider and voila! Particle Souffle in six Dimensions. Monitor carefully, if it falls, there is a high chance of
  • our sun trading places with Betelgeuse which would crush our tiny Earth instantly with it's gravitational field. If we're sucessful however, we can finally access the sixth dimensi
  • -on, which would allows us all to talk backwards. Sweet lord how I've waited for that. I spent a lot of time learning how to talk backwards only to find out it's not a skill that
  • is appreciated in this attention deficit culture. Bastards. However, I persevered with talking backwards until I met, Willard, who talks out of both sides of his mouth
  • , "Armmgh. Slishprgh," he whispered. I was hooked: Side-mouth-speaking! The revolution starts now. Willard and I took to the streets preaching side speak, telling it to The Man
  • Making peripheral vision eye contact with the gathering crowds,Willard & I side-mouth-spoke with passion & a lot of spit. "Yadiez & Zhentlemen! Weah musht raiiize up agaisht Da Man
  • Willard said nothing in return but I knew he was amused. At that moment one of the big men launched his body at the both of us and bellowed in anger a word I will never forget
  • "Starbucks!" he shouted. "You promised me Starbucks!" Unfortunately for all of us, there was only an old coffee can with stale grounds, left from the previous time traveler. On
  • the side, we saw something which horrified us. There was the symbol, the bloody enchantment, which ruled the enemy encampment in the future. This must have been where it began.

1 Comments

  1. PurpleProf Apr 18 2013 @ 19:06

    I would like to know (and be totally honest, FS Friends) how many of you tried side-mouth-speaking after reading this story? Huh?? Slus, you are hilarious!

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