Today I start my new job as a private detective.

Today I start my new job as a private detective. It's not the easiest job, but makes me good money and I get to do what I love, unless

I lose it all again in a rip off scheme from the boss. That was a one time deal. I'll tell you about it later. That's where this story gets

sexual. I eyed her from a distance appropriate for mental groping. Her long black hair flowed as though it had a life of its own, but the curry was eating through my underwear.

brasserie for her watch. "Why do women store things in there?" I wondered - not that I really mind, I had been staring at her lustfully moments ago anyway. She told me the time was

ripe to seize the moment. I wasn't sure if she meant a fair exchange of tradeable commodities or a lustful interlude. In true *Carpe Diem* fashion I

assumed she meant both and we had a mutually profitable transaction involving the exchange of some goods and some bodily fluids.

But mostly bodily fluids. God, that wench loved my saliva. It was as if my saliva contained the cure for her syphilis, herpes, AIDS, gonorrhea, chlamydia, pubic lice, and polio.

My saliva would do nothing for her terminal halitosis but if she believed it cured her other STD's I could demand a huge price/pint. Do you know how many spits are in a pint? Too

bad, I'm not gonna tell.