Scrub till you bleed, wipe those tears, and

Scrub till you bleed, wipe those tears, and fill guns with grapes. You've been repossessed, the therapist is in Mali, but your mother listens to Peter Schiff. She has Alzheimer's.

The director was briefing me on my new character, the intel for which he read from a manila folder. "So I'm a cutter with a coarse sponge, eh?" This was one of those "artsy" indie

schticks (or his full name Indiana Jones, if you're not into the whole brevity thing). Dr. Jones fancied himself to be a graffiti artist. The director wanted me to look at Indiana'

S geography for a perfect fracking spot.I found none. The people revolted and almost four years later still haven't been fracked. Now, the whole world is fracked and whacked, so

I tracked and whacked the cat that was responsible for it all. I was ack'ed by management but later sacked, apparently I lack tact. Jacked, I

faxed him a flat Goldman Sax smoking crack with the caption 'I'll be back...prepare to get facked'. 'How's that for a lack of tact??' I shouted across the flax to the banks where I

last saw all my money before it was confiscated by the government. Now I live on the underpass in a yurt made completely out of paper plates that are stapled together. When the

the totally unrealistic cucumbers. real cucumbers dont look like that! Well rarely/ Cant you pigs understand that these enhanced cucomers,,cucumbers are setting the young up to

spend their lives worrying whether their cucumbers are gourd enough. So be realistic, little piglets, or you might end up in a real pickle someday.