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That the beautiful woman was dead was no

  • That the beautiful woman was dead was no question. Her skin was cold and white, her body still, silent. The note he pulled out from her bag said only one thing, "Margret knows

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  • the secret now. We can't let another person know. I thought I told you! I'm stopping by today at three. Say your goodbyes.

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  • I packed my sparkly "Hello Kitty" backpack with the essentials: Chapstick, socks, sugar-roasted almonds, my grandmother's diamond tiara, and a pack of #2 pencils. I was ready to

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  • rock and roll. But on my way I found him naked in the alley behind a bar, sadly he was wearing the Turkish trail.

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  • I began to gobble at him, thinking it must be his native tongue. Upon seeing me, he groggily unwrapped a chocolate bar on that lay before him, and I saw it! A golden ticket!

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  • I pointed to the approaching car to distract him, swooped down to take the ticket and ran like hell to the oversized

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  • double quarter pounder meal awaiting me. Yeah supersize me man, like now. With face in a hot clutch of grease I forgot about the ticket and used it as a napkin. This shocked

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  • The whole foods employee who went vegan. "How disgusting!", she said. "Do you know what it really in your food! I don't think so." She grabbed a towel and cleaned up the disgusting

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  • mess on her plate. The employee gasped. "That was my food!" she shouted, "YOU'RE disgusting!" "Don't worry darling, I'll pay for every penny." She retrieved her purse and

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  • reached for her wallet, then realized with a gasp that she had left it on her nightstand. Two hundred plates later, she left the restaurant, smelling of food scraps and soap.

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