60

I'm feeling pretty down. Sure, there's the

  • I'm feeling pretty down. Sure, there's the wife, kids, job, car, house, etc. etc. but what's it all about? Work work work, worry worry, stress. Eat, sleep, repeat. I think I'll buy
  • a life transplant... The next day, a surgeon sucked out my lame memories and ambitions (and some of my tummy) and replaced them with gnarly ones. I now thought I was a lavasurfer.
  • Unfortunately, while I had the memories of a lavasurfer, I didn't have the body or experience of one. This was something of a fatal oversight on the surgeon's part, as the next day
  • the doctor's hollow laugh rocked in my ears, "It's not Lavasurfer you fool, you have partnered up with Lucifer. HA HA HA HA." What did I do? How would I
  • get out of the partnership with the Prince of Darkness? He'd surely let me have spill next time I was caught inside a Lava tube. I asked the Doc for a
  • sexy rejoinder, but he just shrugged his shoulders and said "Da" then something about kinetic office clackers. Being in tubes of hellish lava was not conducive to my lifestyle, so
  • I excused myself from the 'Mount Etna Experience - Experience Pompeii in Real Time' and buzzed off on my Vespa to a hillside cafe for a well-deserved glass of Valpolicelli. "Ciao,
  • said a passing executive transvestite. "La mia nonna e sfolgorante. Dov'e la scimmia? La scimmia e sul ramo". I splashed the remander of the Valpolicelli in his face and proceeded
  • to consume my spaghetti. The executive transvestite then did something I never expected. He kissed either side of my face and said (in English), "Finally! I've met my match! Please
  • beware of the bees! I'm through with this stand-up routine. Just crappy TV shows from now on!" With that the executive transvestite clicked his heels and vanished.
Started
2011-09-15 12:21:03
Finished
2013-03-29 22:14:11

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Chaz Mar 29 2013 @ 22:18

    Eddie Izzard, executive transvestite. My favorite British stand-up.
  2. Avatar

    jayursus Mar 29 2013 @ 22:33

    I challenge someone to write fold using "Do you have a flag?" or "Cake or death?" in it :)
  3. Avatar

    lucielucie Mar 30 2013 @ 01:58

    I can't believe the Italians built The Pompeii Experience on the wrong volcano! @Jayursus - I'm claiming 'covered in bees' http://foldingstory.com/uaus0/w8a5xq/ http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs-tl6GBOBo
  4. Avatar

    lucielucie Mar 30 2013 @ 02:26

    Sorry Chad - you've mentioned bees in you fold too. I hope I didn't come across as overly pushy about the covered in bees business.
  5. Avatar

    lucielucie Mar 30 2013 @ 06:39

    Done. http://foldingstory.com/o7p7s/1a8mde/

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