once there was a cat
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once there was a cat
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atonic dog named Fish. Fish was more than just your average lazy dog. He was epically, tragically, hilariously lazy. More than once he'd woken up at his own funeral. His owner Paul
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Rodriguez was this awesome comedian. But he was a dog, and so he could never fully grasp the Comedic Omnipotence of his master. The dog named Fish
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mael, because the dogs master thought it was funny when the dog introduced himself by saying "Call me Fishmael", was frustrated because his master's vetriloquist barks hid
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The disgust felt by others when he spoke the truth about Djbvbhhhj
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Because of this the sect of Djbvbhhhj was now at war with the esoteric cult of Dagon, deep ones and Pghhglvhwobs killing each other in a gruesome spectacle. Obed Marsh died from a
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cerebral aneurism keeping track of the various affiliations. If they didn't sue for peace now, every possible combination of keyboard caharacters was a potential killing machine
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, even when put in a room with a thousand monkeys. Especially then, in fact. For no-one suspected that the monkeys had long held a grudge against mankind. Sure, they looked cute,
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but that was just anthropomorphizing our problems onto another species. It comes with a built in blind spot. So the monkeys, seeing the problem is us, hold a grudge. The power dyna
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mic is that we were apes so pots and kettles blacks and grays. From one primate to another keep your five fingered opinion to yourself and pass me a hammock and banana.
6
- Started
- 2012-06-29 15:33:56
- Finished
- 2017-05-02 19:16:13
9 Comments
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Rebbie May 02 2017 @ 19:19
Wow we have issues! LOL
LordVacuity May 02 2017 @ 19:30
We must of all did real fieldwork on this one.
LordVacuity May 02 2017 @ 19:36
I mean we kept the fold passed to us foremost in our minds while we did our fieldwork. I swear that foreman is free with that whip. Would that work in my fold? I'll keep it on the back burner right now because this pig means to get by and I'm hankering for bacon. Put that in my fold, not the foreman. What pig is it? Pooh? Badass Pooh!? It might be Philosopher Pooh. Oops, stupid PIG. Not bear. This dirty squealing pig that bit me.
Rebbie May 02 2017 @ 19:50
Futique the grim swine poet. I never knew. (Applause in the background fades into snaps and the luscious scent of organic soy creamed coffee or as they say cafe).
LordVacuity May 02 2017 @ 19:58
I can't remember which one it is but one of the folds or comments I posted today had a line that really made me feel good to write. I like the last line on this one a lot but I don't think that is it.
LordVacuity May 02 2017 @ 19:59
PS: in the comments, not the story.
LordVacuity May 02 2017 @ 20:02
When they saw the first line of this story who else immediately thought about https://youtu.be/FTnOyrnWYpc ?
LordVacuity May 02 2017 @ 20:10
Thanks Rebbie.
Rebbie May 04 2017 @ 15:50
You're Welcome Futique!