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What if I spam all the open stories with

  • What if I spam all the open stories with

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  • potatoes? I will get banned. That's what.

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  • Those in power are ruthless and have a real "eye for an eye" mentality. I'm small potatoes to them. So I must give a crop. I don't want to lose any fingerlings.

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  • "I have no potatoes," I lied. "But you can have the corn. Take it. Take it all!" I threw the ears of golden goodness into their faces and dashed out the door, making a beeline for

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  • the honeypot. I helped them out of the jam I guess. But I used a little too much force. I ran into that pot as fast as I could and had to comb the mess out my hair.

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  • I learnt during the combing process that honey is actually beneficial for the hair, food even. They looked at me with doubting expressions and left me there, covered in the sticky

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  • bee spit. Poo though, started really staring at my hair. "Look, I know it's good for your hair and all, but are you going to eat that?" They had left, I had to make a decision

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  • As to whether to collect $200 and pass Go. Monopoly was metaphorically lifelike in its original incarnation, which was still on the table after Grandma had abdicated her throne to

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  • play board games in Valhalla with all the other deceased people. "You haven't lived 'til you've played Parcheesi with dead folks," Grandma communicated to us via Ouja Board.

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  • This was really starting to freak us out, so we threw the Ouija board into the fireplace. Then we played with a squeegee board - a wet sheet of glass with a squeegee planchette.

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