Headstock and first frets passes screen,

Headstock and first frets passes screen, superstrings begin to vibrate. As we pass into the body, interstellar Zappadrive engages. Opening crawl. "A long time ago, in a tonal scale

far, far below human register, the empire of universal music group had taken control of the publishing rights of the galaxy's songs. Only a small rebel band held out, they were

woefully uninformed and it seemed that a tin ear was a requirement of membership. Nevertheless, they were the only game in town when the Big Boys chose to not see you which was not

none of the time. On the other hand, it was a great place to bring the Tin Woodsman on account of he has *two* tin ears. I only went for the snausages. I love me some snausages.

But when the Tin Woodsman needed a colostomy, he had to have a small can soldered to his torso. Now, with two tin ears and a can on his tummy he could no longer find work. So he

decided to join a traveling circus, and flaunt his tin extensions. Starting out, the Tin Woodsman was admittedly a little nervous, but as he grew more comfortable he

found that there was something rather empowering about the entire experience. People would flock to see the 'Tin Man' at the circus, and marvel at his shiny, plated skin. It wouldn

't occur to them that someplace, inside the near indestructible and highly polished shell that was the Tin Man, lived approximately 7 dehydrated yet energetic doves and 34 lizards

. The Tin Man still griped about wanting a heart despite the total 41 dove and lizard hearts inside him. Finally, the Scarecrow had had enough. "Listen, you dimwit cyborg," he said

"I'm going to give you a piece of my mind." He tore open his burlap sack skull, dug out some sawdust & handed it to him. "Naow go hhome," he slurred, "that'sh wherre da heart ish."