The whistle sounded. The girls leg went back

The whistle sounded. The girls leg went back to strike it. This was it. I only had to make this one save and we were the champs. I took a deep breath and watched as the ball flew.

out toward midfield then started into a twisting whistling curve back toward the goal. What was this magic? The ball made another whistling twist and headed for the far corner. Sue

the bastard!" someone shouted from the crowd. At a soccer match? No matter, for the ball found the back of the net just as the official signaled time's up. I would now graduate law

school having survived a columbian soccer match! As I turned to gather my hat, it felt as if the entire stadium was shaken, as if inside a snow globe. I'm not sure where the man

put the bomb, but boy did that blast rock the whole place. At first, the dust falling from the ceiling actually did look like a snow globe. It was pretty. Then I realized I was

in a giant terrarium all that time and something outside had caused the glass to shatter. I stepped gingerly over the shards into the bigger world beyond.

What I saw was Eddie Murphy lying on his back in the sidewalk. Some Art Dealer's goons had thrown him through the front window. The Beverly Hills police department was

'nt sure what to do with the guy who used to be the king of comedy, but was now the king of awkward and shitty movies. So they lifted Eddie Murphy up and told him

that John Travolta, SCIENTOLOGIST, would be copying his "grown-ass man in a fat woman suit" shtick in about ten years. Eddie Murphy still wanted to sell out like other black comics

but discovered the hard way that he counted as cheap. All that was left for him was to prostitute himself in the Moulin Rouge dressed in drag. But he was the purdiest kitten of all