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Once upon a time, there was a queen who was...

  • Once upon a time, there was a queen who was...

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  • not the least bit concerned about his appearance. He wore his flannel PJs and bathing slippers when he shopped at Shopko.

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  • In Shopko's expansive lobby was a fountain that poured into a pool. He would remove PJ's & slippers & skinny dip, then dress by shopping for each individual item of clothing. "Sir,

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  • I hate to bother you, but we do require shirt, shoes, and some sort of lower body covering," the store detective informed me. "If I had any, why would I need to shop for them?" I

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  • left according to the store detective's wishes - only to walk around the building and enter the store by a different door. Ha! Several shoppers giggled at my birthday suit

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  • which really got my goat. "We'll see how yours looks after soaking in water for a fortnight," I bellowed. "Rocks and glass houses and what not," I muttered as I tiptoed over to

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  • the shed. "What the hell was that woman thinking," I muttered, as I opened the rickety door to the shed. the bottom of the door caught on the edge of the stone stoop, and

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  • All hell broke loose. There were sounds of caterwauling mosquitoes and singing spiders who were mating in the old crawl space. It was so windy that the door fell down and crushed

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  • in the bud dreams and wishes. Then a garish giant vole rode into the scene and put a stop that to that chaotic shit. LIKE RIGHT NOW! Surprisingly, his commands had no effect. The c

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  • rowd just mocked him. “Yo, get a load of the garish vole!” “Does he really think we’d listen to something so garish?” “Ha-Ha!” “Garish vole, garish vole, nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!"

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