The boys and I would put Freebird on and

The boys and I would put Freebird on and go for an M60 gun run. When we really got crazy we would change to the 50 cal and put on Simple Man.

The cab fare really added up though. "Stop changing my station, or I'll kick you guys out," the driver told us. Doin' it country in the Big Apple was tough. No cows to tip, no meth

-ane holes to huff out of. I pulled my 10 gallon off my head and removed my revolver from inside the crown. The driver screeched to a halt. "That's it, all of you out, now!" NYC

starved for the humid outside air. We arrived on the French plantation as tourists; they had the best fruit worldwide. I just love Guy's juicy plums. They're the best. Day three,

The plum picking volunteers were so drunk that they picked too many and ate half. They were fired. Donald Trump hired other people, making sure they were sober. Day four,

the sugar plum fairy came and filled everyone's boots with goodies, and everyone's income was above average, and the bubblies were just a feeling you had when 2017 rounded the bend

became reality. We loved the loot that the sugar plum fairy had left and hoarded it as long as we could until 9 months later it had sprouted mold. We ate the last pieces and became

so stoned that we thought 9th Street was a giant conveyor belt and that we were Lucy and Ethel. We tried to put the moving cars into our mouths, hats and blouses. The police came

in shooting the place up like it was St. Sulpice's Day for the Illuminati. Cold Ethel as she was known as in certain circles because if they aren't certain how does it stay a circl