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It was the kind of speech that awakens passion

  • It was the kind of speech that awakens passion you didn't know you had, that makes you say, "The front lines? No biggie." I filled my quiver and charged, one klutzy archer against
  • a scruffy mob of nearsighted nerf herders. Despite my unsteady hands I clutched my quiver. I assumed I'd survive the fight unscathed, but then I took an arrow to the knee.
  • My scanner said the arrowhead might be terrasantium. Given the damage to my knee, I decided to cast my lot with the squinty nerf herders instead of the Holy Earthers, but the fores
  • kin on a Tan Tan is really tough. A regular laser blaster won't do it. Ah, but this was a light saber. I used it on the Tan Tan. I'd been breeding them for years on Hoth.
  • Its hard work. And I have surely had many migraines from these devices. But it has been worth it. Absolutely. Hoth was the ideal climate for this research, as well. Now, I work
  • exclusively on mind control. Control the mind...control the man. Control the man... control the planet. Control the planet...control the world. The future of the empire was abo
  • ut to get a new Chief Executive Officer. I present to you, Emperor Sebastian Beethoven Friedsbergur the Fourth. Each man present lost control of their world with that announcement.
  • But "Fear not," proclaimed Emperor SBF IV, "for through my God-like status, I shall restore your worlds!" The others looked at him hopefully as he finished his Chicken McNuggets.
  • The French Fry cook, Tyrone, yanked the pick comb out of his Shag-Fro and placed it near the Emperor SBF IV’s throat. “We ain’t got time to wait for you to finish your Happy Meal,”
  • What a sorry end: in a fast-food joint with a hair-grooming tool at his throat. He distracted Tyrone: “Nice sneakers, bro!” Tyrone relaxed. The Emperor broke free and escaped.
Started
2014-05-06 18:51:32
Finished
2020-04-20 17:07:47

7 Comments

  1. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 20 2020 @ 17:50

    I done told Tyrone his jones for fresh tires was going to be his unmaking. Tsk tsk tsk. Now that evil Emperor is out there doing who knows what.
  2. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 20 2020 @ 19:01

    https://vocaroo.com/gCd6sAyynHE
  3. Avatar

    Jimbeau Apr 21 2020 @ 23:58

    I was thinking of Tyrone Power.
  4. Avatar

    Jimbeau Apr 22 2020 @ 00:01

    This is Woab's fault. Woab mentioned Chicken McNuggets and I had Tyrone Power in mind, but McDonald's was way too modern for him, I guess.
  5. Avatar

    Woab Apr 23 2020 @ 17:23

    But an Afro-Pik wasn't too modern for Tyrone Power. Oh no, not he. It is said that he had one in his hair when they buried him in 1958. It was made of plastic and had a tiny black power fist molded into it. It will probably still be there long after his bones have turned to dust. In the future, aliens will find his casket and all that will be inside will be an Afro-Pik. They'll have quite a time trying to figure out what it all means.
  6. Avatar

    Woab Apr 23 2020 @ 17:24

    Frankly, I'm having quite a bit of trouble figuring it out, right now.
  7. Avatar

    LordVacuity Apr 24 2020 @ 01:28

    Figuring out what? And stop calling me Frankly.

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