Finished Folds (1—20)
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3Carrie at the Myers’ mid-century modern duplex, up in Michael’s bedroom. Yes, The Thing was Child’s Play but better than going all the way and fathering Rosemary’s Baby, in The Fog
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4She found him repulsive & lousy at foreplay, but Eve had no choice; Adam was the only man on Earth. He ravished her every full moon; she endured 8 miscarriages before Cain was born
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3, begging for signatures & posing for selfies. Lincoln posed for a selfie with John Wilkes Booth before retiring to the presidential box. It rivaled anything Kreskin could muster.
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3I moved to the city to be close to nature; my friend moved to the country to witness cruelty, and none of this makes sense. Maybe we’re moving because we don’t like where we live.
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3crème de la connerie (crap at its best). You would have to be completely tone def to appreciate “Sounds Like Crap,” but we applaud the artist’s honesty and highly recommend it to
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1a storyline or outcome. It was like watching the Christmas Yule Log, except, after 35 years, dad met Elsa, who washed his gravy-stained shirt and convinced him to become a vegan.
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1a golfer chipping his way out of a sand trap. One moment the wizard was there; the next, he was history, a faded memory. In an instant, she grasped that everything was the same.
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3When I was a kid, I used to sit in Tony’s barbershop listening to gangster chit chat. Tony responded to everything with Over my Dead Body. Tony, I’m going to marry your daughter.
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4the two of them called for peace during the Looney Tunes War of ’09. Lady Garden Bajingo led the revolt to publicly display Pansy Joe’s head and King Reggie the Vermin-Hearted’s p
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1once, causing the elevator to drop between her level & the level below, stopping abruptly & tossing her head back hard against a metal rail, knocking her to the floor, unconscious.
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4box of Wicked Whoopies Bertrand had left for her, knocking them to the floor. Splat. “Fuc-”, he stifled her scream with a hand to her lips and…” Sorry about your pastry, Love”.
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5Okay, I admit to being “over-the-top” when it comes to Rudy’s BBQ Shack. That damn Rudy not only ran off with my girlfriend, Betty Lou, but he short-changed me on a family meal.
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1“Good for me?” Jeremy snorted & wept in his own deceit, “I’m the guy who said it was good for you to drink Drano for constipation. Remember?” It’s hard sifting through the folly.
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4With his big cheek pads on the sides of his face and a large pendulous throat sack under his chin, orangutanman could seduce the damsel’s abductor, giving her ample time to escape.
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2someone named Amber. In fact, the photo was of an African man from Jekyll Island named Charlie Hill; amazingly, she used it to outdo the port guards, then left it behind to mock
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1It was too bad Rollo found out he had the blood of English Kings when he was homeless & eating out of dumpsters. He found a prepaid DNA ancestry kit in the trash, spit into it and
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7Imagine how frightening it must be to be, or not to be, without family or friends to call you a moron & make you feel as big as an amoeba’s excrement. Welcome to my hallucination.
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2“Ho, Ho, Ho!” Santa barked. “You didn’t just go there. I don’t see you dealing with 8 fucking neurotic reindeer or trying to shove your fat ass down a chimney. So, if I were you
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2money for the public toilet, and there is only one page of the Sears Catalog left in the outhouse. My panties are as stiff as a board. Wait a minute. It was gas. Never mind”.
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1…that is, until I saw a banana-flavored Trojan laying at the river’s edge. I plopped into the condom & rolled into the river just as a man yelled,” Don’t do it, Speedy! A hole in