The diamonds were fake, but Jess didn't care.

The diamonds were fake, but Jess didn't care. She knew he could only afford the pretend love, but that's what she was giving him, so it didn't sting as much. His wife's gun was

at the As Seen On TV website

. Unfortunately he had no TV and had not seen the program so the website didn't catch his interest. He clicked on random website again and landed at www.stuffiregurgitated.com.

He certainly wouldn't've picked the site on his own; in fact the whole idea of the web suddenly felt repugnant. He clicked off his computer in disgust, and picked up his last

book he had ever read. It was Green Eggs and Ham. He felt hounded like that guy. They wanted him to blog in the rain or on a train, with a fox, or a box, here or there, everywhere.

He had a cat, in a hat, with a bat. Over all, the cat in the hat ran away to eat his green eggs and ham. The book unvieled the secret of the universe. The secret was

a secret. What? You think I'm gonna tell you just like that? What in the name of all that's sacred&special do you take me for? No, I shall carry the secret to the top of Mt Crumpit

and whisper it in the wind where only the gods can hear it. Only if they find you a deserving recipient, will they let you in on it. They will test you, torture you and burden you

with the torments of all men. Mark me, you will suffer searing, unimaginable pain. If you are certain you are up to the... Hey! Wait! Come back! Please. Please come back..."