The halls of Dis were dark. The black lamps

  • The halls of Dis were dark. The black lamps burnt dark blue darkening the gloom.
  • It was a dark place in a dark time. Dirk feared the princess wasn't dead, but he'd done what he was paid to do. The Dis castle guards loomed over Dirk, and he tripped, spilling
  • the now liquid princess of Dis onto the flagstones. "Oi, clean up that gunk!" said a castle guard. Dirk used his tunic to swab it up & wring it into the urn. Was she still alive?
  • Questions plagued Dirk. They were pointless questions that echoed through the empty honeycombs of his mind. He once asked himself, "What's trending right now?"
  • Dirk asked himself other inane questions: "Am I all about that bass?" "Would the most interesting man in the world be as interesting if he didn't drink Dos Equis?" "Is life like a
  • folding story? You can fold once but you never know where you'll end up." "If I pluck an eyebrow will people still notice my nose is crooked?" "Toilet seat: Down or up?"
  • "Dead or alive?" "Paper or plastic?" "Are you living in that sedan or just going on a really long trip?" "As a frequent folder, are you keen on happy endings?"
  • Shuffling my notecards, I could tell this date was bombing quickly. I decided to use the last boomerang left in my arsenal. "Would you be opposed to naming our first kid Vladimir?"
  • I blinked. Did his eyes just turn red there for a moment? "I've always wanted a child named Vlad," he replied, leaning closer to me. "Marry me. Now." Mesmorized, I threw down my
  • chainmail teddy and he took me, body and soul. I have blank spots, but later we did go into the shower together. Why? After 451 years? But his spark still stirs in my loins.


  1. lucielucie Oct 10 2014 @ 16:04

    Earthquakes - you made me lol!

  2. earthquakes Oct 12 2014 @ 18:16

    I have Reddit forums to thank ;)

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