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This is an absolutely true story: When I

  • This is an absolutely true story: When I was out walking my dog this morning, I noticed a trail of gummy bears. There they were,every 3 feet or so, leading into the forest. I follo
  • wed them as far as the first turn-off, but turned back before reaching the fiftieth gummy bear. I had begun noticing that each color was turned a particular way - all the greens
  • and yellows and, actually, all the gummi bears had little bubbles inside. Well, before long he sugar rushed, at 3am shouting "Flinstones! Meet the Flintstones!" repeatedly.
  • He went to the cupboard and removed the bottle of chewables. Atop the stove, he lined up the Dinos and Barneys on one side, Pebbles and Freds on the other. There would be war, and
  • soon the dominance of vitamin pumped man or beast would be determined. The Dinos & Barneys had razorsharp claws & teeth on their side, but the Pebbles & Freds used rubberband sling
  • s and tied big cucumbers to them. These cucumbers had sharpened pencils sticking out at all angles. Vitamin-pumped-man licked his lips and tasted a bitter speckle of
  • cheese-wiz, frothed into gooey buttercake. Cucumbers historically were crooked examples of Indian men who brought zazen to the West Coast. In this case, however, Vitamin-pumped-man
  • -juices were the basis of his new recipe. Secret ingredients, of course, for obvious reasons. He trialed the recipe in a quaint little cafe on the edge of reason, just short of
  • logic,on the outskirts of fury. He watched the cafe customers unknowingly "test" his formula under the guise of being the fry cook. He installed hidden cameras in the restrooms, to
  • see what happened. He instantly regretted this decision as he couldn't unsee what he'd seen played back however hard he tried.
Started
2013-04-16 14:23:12
Finished
2014-02-02 18:09:23

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    PurpleProf Feb 02 2014 @ 18:15

    Absolutely true. Every word of it. P.S. Go Broncos!
  2. Avatar

    RoboRoach Feb 02 2014 @ 22:03

    Broncos... Almost!
  3. Avatar

    PurpleProf Feb 02 2014 @ 22:05

    Haha...yeahhhh...worst Superbowl ever.

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