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This is my Historia De Un Amor. My name's

  • This is my Historia De Un Amor. My name's Hasselhoff - David Hasselhoff and my story is the same as yours but different. It began one steaming night in Old Tunis. The dark eyed

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  • wench was of the roguishly coquettish type. That may sound harsh, but when we met she imitated a pirate at me all evening. I smiled, clueless to her advances. "Arrr, Hasselhoff,

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  • I'm so hammered that I want to eat a hamburger off the floor! Just kidding." She punched David's shoulder. I thought to myself, this is no way to get me to like you lady. But I wa

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  • s hesitant to say anything. It was a punch, but it was the first time she'd touched him with such force and honesty. David wanted to savor it. She scarfed down the dirty burger and

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  • looked around for the fries and the milk shake. She remembered the bags flying around during her "episode". David found the shake when it dripped on him from the ceiling fan. She

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  • wondered whether she should apologise about that, but before she had chance, the door opened, somewhat dramatically. "David," the looming figure bellowed, "where is my lunch?"

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  • "Did you lose it again?" she said, rolling her eyes at the ominous apparition. David, meanwhile, had leapt behind the fridge and was whimpering like a scolded puppy. "You ate it,

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  • you son of a bitch! You ate my parents' wedding cake!" David could no longer feel the cake, only the hot dread licking down his chest to a pool of guilt. She pulled the fridge away

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  • along its track, sending it rolling into the neighbor's kitchen. "I... thought it was my wedding cake." David winced internally. He was never good at lying. "It was... too dark to

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  • see anything. My boyfriend and I just got into a huge fight and he dumped me. And it's just cuz I'm a furry. We're finished..." David starting sobbing on the floor of the house.

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