35

"It's chlorophyll," he declared, pointing

  • "It's chlorophyll," he declared, pointing at a glass of greenish liquid on the table, "The fountain of youth!" I eyed him suspiciously. "So you're a plant vampire then," I replied.
  • "Not really," he said wiping a trail of chlorophyll slime from his chin. "A vampire drains victims dry. I'm more of a cultivator; the excess plants provide me doesn't kill them."
  • "True, they come alive, but they are stronger than ever before." He paused, caressing the leaf of a ficus. "They...love me for it. I give them life and in return, their sweet
  • paprika is handed over easily. Hungarians, man, they have the best paprika. I put it on deviled eggs as a decoration mostly, but when making spice rubs, look out. Paprika
  • really provides a zing to a back rub. My masseur Tony always added different things to his emollients. Just a couple of years ago, Tony really was into
  • broken clamshells and manowar venom with poison ivy oil. His surf and turf special wasn't tasty but it did
  • clean you right out. Luckily I was within running distance to the toilet. I spent the rest of the night painting the bathroom walls from both ends. But that wasn't the worst part.
  • My fiance for all of 10 minutes and her extended family heard the whole thing over the intercom that I had just installed. It was malfunctioning and couldn't be turned off. I found
  • some comfort in the fact that my marriage lasted 5 minutes longer than uncle Harvy who'd been caught fornicating live on TV in the background of a news broadcast with
  • an inflatable sheep. After his arrest he claimed it was just a protest about the wool industry, but the psychologists said otherwise. I never wore that sweater he knitted again.
Started
2010-11-30 18:41:37
Finished
2011-06-07 09:41:07

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jun 07 2011 @ 10:48

    Nice foldingstory! plant vampires, poison massages and inflatable sheep. Kudos to Daxxax for going beyond my wildest imaginings with the finish.
  2. Avatar

    Daxxax Jun 07 2011 @ 14:27

    Thanks for the kudos.

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