Finished Folds (1—20)
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3I wished I was adopted, as usual, so she didn't suspect anything. Over the years, Mama amassed quite a collection of corpses, which her little Jeffrey had to butcher and keep
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5adults last week. I'll have to have a word with him about that, slap his wrist, something like that. I wouldn't like him to grow up to become one of those terrible
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2and a half! He then proceeded to regurgitate the disc, but it now was a CD of Michael Jackson singing the hits of Air Supply. We gave polite applause, but then Bieber threatened to
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3so did his eyes. This was an alarming sight, although he himself was now unable to appreciate it. He tried to pull the electric toothbrush from his mouth but it was welded to his
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2trademarked and anyway I couldn't do it. I squared up to her. "Just who do you think you are, Angela Lansbury? I'm just here to entertain the kids." I screamed. Angela was not
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1-d onto the door and, after only a few seconds, realised I was now the only person attached in any way to the plane. I struggled back inside, closed the door and sat in the pilot's
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7mind with both hands and resolved that I would one day learn to laugh at a Peanuts cartoon. This was something my body resisted, mostly through involuntary spasms of the
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6smashing session when the residents pretended to be The Who. Well, I say "pretended," but one or two of them really believe it. It's sad to see a 90-year-old trying to
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4Nor did they have contact lenses. Given that all the wives were inbred and had naturally poor vision, this meant none of them could see their drinks. One lady tried drinking a
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4egg dinner, a speciality of the chef consisting of fifteen fried eggs on a plate with a card saying, "Eat it and get out." Our man's ugly face also proved useful in scaring off any
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7so I grabbed my abdomen to prevent my organs falling out, and left the building. I suspected maggots were eating my zombie brain as I couldn't remember which job I'd applied for.
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3to the end of the spitting process, I glowered at Mr Seahorse and his kids. "My mouth is a home for nothing but my tongue," I told him. They cried, but I have a cold, cold heart.
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3was the marketing slogan for the canned version of Magic Frog Leg Juice, and it was indeed extremely successful. Many people drank four or five cans a day. The effect of this was
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4to Germany, as I had to explain to him repeatedly. This only confused Jimmy more. "Do you mean Germany Township, PA, or Germany Valley, WV?" he asked. Now I was beginning to get
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3they attempted to strangle him. They left his hands free, however, and he used his phone to send a message to the accountants, advising them to audit the pirates' expenses in case
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1my opponent beats me, I have a tantrum and storm out, stamping my feet and huffing like a steam train. Therefore, I never achieved the flexibility for contortions. I wish I could
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2her ass on a plate. "Nobody," I screamed, "but nobody ever accuses me of forgetting an anniversary!" She always knew I'd had a short temper, but perhaps she'd underestimated my
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3must never be seen again and put a match to it. However, I was able to save a few frames, which I carefully placed with my collection of cinematic rareties salvaged from
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5murdered that evening. Only she knew the truth, that the city was infested with counterfeiters. When he entered her apartment, she leapt at him with a knife and cut off his
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3an inflatable sheep. After his arrest he claimed it was just a protest about the wool industry, but the psychologists said otherwise. I never wore that sweater he knitted again.