Pictures stared back at me from the piano.

Pictures stared back at me from the piano. These people were supposed to mean something to me, but so few of them did. One or two I'd give my life for, but the rest were just

just pictures that came with the frames. The faces were much more attractive and happier than my own family ever was. I named these smiling strangers and lied to visitors, saying

I had not stolen the idea from that tiring Jason Bateman movie "The Switch." I loved Jason Bateman. He was a poor man's Michael J. Fox. I pretended that Valeri's family episodes

had some form of redeeming entertainment value. I was just fooling myself. Valerie's Family ever after Valerie leaving, really was a shell of a show. Now, Justine Bateman, well

no one was really sure about what happened to her after the show. Some claim she faded into obscurity, but I always suspected that Jason Bateman was really Justine in disguise.

Did you ever notice they never appeared in the same scene. OK, they were on different shows, but still. They were both NBC, so they could have done one of those cross show walkons

like when Diego appears on Dora's show. The kids LOVE that, and ratings go through the roof! If only they could figure out how to get Steve from Blues Clues to

get diego on his show to... Diego needed work badly - sure, the kids loved him on Dora's show, but how long would that last, he wondered?!

"Hank," Diego said to his agent. "Get me a cab. Dora won't keep me around for much longer."

unfortunately for Dora, the cab was going into a parking spot, aka, exactly where she was standing. 7-year=old boys rejoiced around the world. THE END!