The cat left a deliberately placed turd,

The cat left a deliberately placed turd, like a war declaration from the dark side, in the middle of the left side of the bed. The next day, another on the right side of the bed.

very considerately kept depositing more turds on her bed, so Granny had loads of company. & then- the miracle! On the 2,376th cat turd, our Granny awoke from her coma! What could

've caused her to wake from the 2,376th turd? Who knows.Granny was a Princess on the Pee insisting we take her for strolls in her cat litter.Her 4 poster laden with turds was heavy

duty. It takes a crew of 8 burly hairy apelike men to maneuver the load 3 times a week. She gives her life to defecation. The golden plunger Granny sentimentally keeps in

her support hose was given to her by the Tidy Bowl Man himself on his boat after a randy rootering by them both. It was the highest award the Sewage Guild could bestow upon a man o

From then on, the support hose dominated her life. The highest award the Sewage Guild could bestow? She could do better.

She was annointed the Ice queen and lived in the middle of nowhere under the ice. Sometimes a fisherman would find her and she showed her tentacles. The fisherman gave up trying

to woo her after the first few weeks and mostly just tried to ignore her. Occasionally they'd see her watching from under the ice, but they never tried to reach her. Not again.

She died Christmas eve of that year. On December 26th they all received soggy Christmas cards from her, begging to be forgiven, but it was too late. Too late.