This is a death sentence.

  • This is a death sentence.
  • Quick! Close your eyes! DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER! You're gonna be REAL SORRY if you do!!! Ohhhhhhhh...too late. So sorry. I'll notify your family immediately.
  • Since you read my fold, you are going to die. Now would be a good time to start think about what is next. Maybe chilling with Jesus or Satan. I don't recommend reincarnation,
  • last time I was a meerkat, not bad, but now I fear hawks. So, no reincarnation. I think a ghost might be more your thing. You can work out unresolved issues.
  • But you can do it on your own time." She replaced her spectacles and looked away from me. A kinder managerial class, my pretty little butt! Returning to my cubicle, I buried my
  • stolen bagel under a dusty pile of 'pending' paperwork. I couldn't work in these conditions any longer & decorated my cubicle in red flock wallpaper. My cow of a manager lodged a
  • formal cease & desist against me, which stalled my conspiracy piece about how George R.R. Martin and J R.R. Tolkien were the same person. The truth would out though and I told my
  • story to the people riding on the Indian Casino bus. No one believed a word I said about George R.R. Martin and J R.R. Tolkien, except one little brave soul in the back. She was
  • an elf named Faye and was well versed in Martin & Tolkien. Sitting at her feet was a large grey wolf. Faye told of her visions of a red-leafed tree and wanted me to take her there.
  • "Never mind the red-leafed tree," I told Faye. "I should learn more of leaf and tree and shadow." The grey wolf turned silver and showed me through the woods.


  1. Zetawilk Jun 13 2014 @ 00:07

    SlimWhitman's is instantly among my favorite one-liners on this site.

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