This is a death sentence.

This is a death sentence.

Quick! Close your eyes! DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER! You're gonna be REAL SORRY if you do!!! Ohhhhhhhh...too late. So sorry. I'll notify your family immediately.

Since you read my fold, you are going to die. Now would be a good time to start think about what is next. Maybe chilling with Jesus or Satan. I don't recommend reincarnation,

last time I was a meerkat, not bad, but now I fear hawks. So, no reincarnation. I think a ghost might be more your thing. You can work out unresolved issues.

But you can do it on your own time." She replaced her spectacles and looked away from me. A kinder managerial class, my pretty little butt! Returning to my cubicle, I buried my

stolen bagel under a dusty pile of 'pending' paperwork. I couldn't work in these conditions any longer & decorated my cubicle in red flock wallpaper. My cow of a manager lodged a

formal cease & desist against me, which stalled my conspiracy piece about how George R.R. Martin and J R.R. Tolkien were the same person. The truth would out though and I told my

story to the people riding on the Indian Casino bus. No one believed a word I said about George R.R. Martin and J R.R. Tolkien, except one little brave soul in the back. She was

an elf named Faye and was well versed in Martin & Tolkien. Sitting at her feet was a large grey wolf. Faye told of her visions of a red-leafed tree and wanted me to take her there.

"Never mind the red-leafed tree," I told Faye. "I should learn more of leaf and tree and shadow." The grey wolf turned silver and showed me through the woods.