"A cat is eating the rotting flesh of a pterodactyl

  • "A cat is eating the rotting flesh of a pterodactyl in my backyard, and I am wondering why and how this could happen..." That was how my call to the police began.
  • I couldn't remember what it was "I" had eaten that would push me to claim there was a dead dinosaur in the backyard, but I hoped the officer at the other end of the line
  • could not track my address from my phone. My hopes went out of the window, as the officer showed up an hour later, declaring that I was high. Indeed, I was on a ladder, and smoking
  • some lettuce , I had been scammed by my dealer and I was smoking lettuce and the effects that it was giving me were purely a placebo effect of me wanting so desperately to be high
  • . I guess 5 bucks a pop was too good to be true. So I moved onto smoking herb for real; cilantro, rosemary, and parsley were my go to herbs.I'm pretty sure those worked better than
  • the crack I snorted off my best friend's ass last summer. I needed to get into a real high. However, I later found that the best results were achieved by gathering up copious amoun
  • ts of gummybears and snack on them throughout the day. Once you start feeling nauseous, keep going and soon you'll feel the effects. It was a new experience for me and decided to
  • share it with all the children.So I painted "FREE SWEETS" all over my old minivan,drove around and tried to pass out g-bears to every child I saw.Some had to be convinced a little.
  • Lemon flavours sold well, as did strawberry. Anxiety was lower if the sweets were homemade. That's what I found out. My mum helped me out and made them even better. Renaming them
  • to something that the human brain subconsciously filters out, but also experiences feelings of desire in the process. The psychology hack worked, and soon, everyone was addicted.


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